The Seal

Ephesians 1   In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory.

To be honest the book of Ephesians is my favorite.  This book, for me, more than any other speaks volumes of truth in almost every sentence.  Here, in this verse, lies the hope of my life in one sentence.

As we go along in life someone comes along and shares with us the gospel, the good news, the truth of Jesus Christ and we choose to believe.  At that very moment we are given the gift of the presence, the indwelling, of the Holy Spirit.  Our Helper.  He is our assurance, our guarantee, that what we have believed in and have placed our faith in is indeed real and true.  He is the promise of our inheritance until we die and actually take possession of it.

For unbelievers it is hard to accept this concept of being indwelt by the Spirit of God.  It must sound strange.  I might be able to help demystify Him somewhat.

He is most similar, I guess, to what we know as our conscience.  That thought or urging that guides us.  Our moral compass.  It is the reason that the lie detector test works.  When we lie our body betrays us and reacts to that part of us that feels guilty for lying.  Our heart rate increases, our pupils dilate and our body temperature rises.   Why?  Even if we do not want our guilt to show we are condemned by our own conscience.

The Holy Spirit is vaguely similar but far superior.  He is a person.  He speaks truth to the heart.  Not our own version of truth which can differ from person to person.  He speaks God's unchanging and perfect truth.  He is not only a guide He is a friend.  A comforter.  Our helper.  He is the very Spirit of God and probably one of the most misunderstood entities on our plant by believer and unbelievers alike.  In Him is the power that raised Jesus from the dead.  He is the one who convinces us of truth and convicts us of sin.

Have you ever heard the story of the life and death of Jesus Christ or about the great love that God has for us and felt this odd stirring of emotion in your chest?  That is the work of the Holy Spirit urging you to believe.  To trust.

If you hear Him or feel His presence and take a step into faith and give your life to the One who gave it to you what you will find is an ever growing, ever deepening friendship with the Spirit of the living almighty God.  It is not magic or insanity.  It is the truth.  It is a miracle.  It is possible.

He is the promised Holy Spirit who is our guarantee of an inheritance in Christ until we acquire possession of it to the praise of His glory.

John 14   And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him.  You know Him, for He dwells in you and will be with you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

My Helper.  My friend.  Thank You for walking this life with me.  For Your guidance and Your friendship I can never thank You enough.  You are truth and power and integrity and wisdom.  You are Holy and righteous and I adore You.

The Voice

Psalm 95   Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!  For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.
               
                         Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Father I pray that You would bless these writings with Your presence.  Give me words to tell every reader of Your goodness, love and mercy.  I pray that every one who reads or listens would hear Your voice and open their hearts to You.  Give power to this writing because without You it is just a rambling journal.

                          Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Yesterday the family of one of my patients shared my blog at her memorial service.  It was a great honor for me not because I see myself as anything but because my words were used to speak of  how wonderful she was and how wonderful our God is.

My patients are extraordinary people and many of them find extraordinary relationships with their families and with their Creator during their struggles with cancer.  I have been given the awesome opportunity to be a witness to these miracles.  An even greater gift is to be able to speak of the love of God for us all.

I am compelled to write about my experiences and to tell you what an enormous impact He has made on my life.  He is not exactly who I thought He was or had heard that He was or had been taught that He was.  He is better.  He is more.  He is everything.  And now He is not a thought or a teaching or a philosophy.   He is an experience.  A relationship.

                                  Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

If you are reading this, know this.  I have prayed for you.  I have prayed that as you read He will speak.  I pray that He will speak truth to your heart.  The truth about His love for you.  I pray He will honor you with the gift of His presence and that you will feel His unfailing affection for you.

Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!  For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.

                                  Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Father may these words fall like seed in good ground and be planted in the lives where you have directed them. For Your kingdom.  For Your glory. For Your name.  I love You.

The Equator

Psalm 103   He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who respect Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.  As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.  For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

This morning I chatted online with my son who is deployed in the Middle East.  He seemed so close that he could have been across town.  I received an email from my friend Justina in Jerusalem.  I can leave the Atlanta airport and be in Tel Aviv in thirteen hours.  Sometimes in this modern world the east doesn't feel that far from the west.

But in actuality the earths' circumference at the equator is almost twenty five thousand miles from east to west.

As far as the east is from the west He removed our transgressions from us.

What an awesome act of love.  Stretched out on the cross from east to west He removed from us the burden of our sin.  That love compels me.  I cannot live without it.

It is difficult for us to understand that kind of love, the kind that would sacrifice for us.  Maybe because we judge love by how we love.  If we love our best friend and they betray us what happens to that love?  If we love our spouse and they are unfaithful what happens to that love?

For us love is an ever changing emotion based largely on behavior.  It grows and fades.  It matures and deepens.  It grows cold or bitter.  But God cannot be judged by our standard.  Love is not only an emotion that He possesses.  It is His very character.  He is the definition of love.  An abiding, unchanging love.  It is not dependent on our actions.  It is not earned by our behavior.  It is unfailing regardless of our circumstances.  It is constant even if we never acknowledge it or refuse to accept it.

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love.

You and I exist by an act of His love.  We were made to have a relationship with Him.  To feel and to be a witness of His love.  And to respond to it.

There is a place inside every one of us that is never filled without experiencing His love.  He made us that way.

As high as the heavens and as far as the east is from the west is His steadfast love for you.

Psalm 103   Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good.  

The Schedule

Romans 11   For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

Over the last six months my priority has been to restore the house.  It is surprising how deconditioned I have become in such a short time.  So today I am beginning a new schedule and my plan is take back ownership of my life and health.  In short, I want to become more than I am.  Better.  Healthier.  Faithful.

Last night I made out a schedule and this morning I set my alarm clock.



0730   Breakfast
0800   Seek God.
0930   Gym.

And after that (and don't laugh) I am studying a second language.

And to keep myself motivated I bought tickets for Ken and I to go to Germany in May.

Why?

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

When I think about the attributes of God, His character or hallmark characteristics, my first thought is that He is faithful.  To me this is one of the most important things.  Because if He is holy, He must be holy faithfully.  If He loves, He must love faithfully.   God does not change or waver in His thinking or in His attributes or in His love for us.  He is faithful despite what we do.

I want to rediscover what His calling is on my life.  I want to gain a better understanding of who He is and what He has for me.  I want to develop faithfulness in my own life.  When I was in nursing school I discovered that if I wanted to faithful to my studies and learn to discipline my mind that I also had to discipline my body.

So the thought for today is this....

The gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

He loves us.  Period.  He will never stop.  He will never leave.  He will never change.  He will never forget us.  He will never abandon us.  He will never forsake us.  He will never stop pursuing us.

Let's start pursuing Him.

The payoff for the physical work is a trip to Europe.

The payoff for the spiritual search is finding God and discovering the gifts and His calling in my life.

Father I do not wish to be driven by the wind or by my circumstances.  I want my life to be driven by You.  As we seek You, Lord, be found by us.  And be pleased.  I lack disciple and direction because I do not apply myself to following hard after You.  I want faithfulness to become a part of my character.  I want to become more like You.  

The Remodel

I Corinthians 3   Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.

Our house remodel is finally coming to an end.  Just another couple of weeks and we should be done and I can finally say it is looking beautiful.  I looked back at some pictures yesterday from day one and it is unrecognizable.  I get so excited to think about actually living there.

This morning I am faced with an undeniable truth.  This remodel parallels my own life.

When God found me, revealed Himself to me, I was much like my house in April after the storm.  Broken and uninhabitable.  It was raining on the inside.  I was full of dark places and gaping wounds.

Lives, like houses, are not repaired overnight or without hard work.  Sometimes things look worse before they look better.  Dirt and mud must be scraped out, walls torn down and secret damages exposed and repaired.

We have loved this house back together.  We could have repaired it with lesser quality materials, rented it out to someone else, taken the insurance money and bought a bigger house in a better neighborhood and we considered that.  But we fell in love in this house.   We had our first date in this house.  We have had Christmases, birthdays and Thanksgivings in this house.  It is our house and we love it despite its faults.

God loved me back together.  He didn't give up on me or run out on me.  I am His and He loves me despite my faults.

As pretty as our house is it is already depreciating.  In a few years the paint will start to fade, floors will begin to squeak and the roof will need repaired again.

But God has something better for us.

Eye has not seen nor ear heard, not has it entered into the thoughts of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.

A home in heaven guaranteed not to fade away.  Sealed upon the promises of God for those who wait for Him.  For those who are called.  For those who believe.

I want that.  And I want you to be there.

My house is almost finished and I am happy and excited to live there but it cannot compare to what is waiting on me in heaven nor can it compare to the excitement of living there.  To see my King!  To see my father and all those who have gone before me that my heart loved and that I still miss.

John 14   Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I will go and prepare a place for you.  I will come again and receive you unto Myself, that where I am you may be also....Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one ones to the Father but through Me.

Father I love you beyond all else.  You alone give life and life everlasting.  Thank You for the promise of life to come.  For a homeland that will never fade away and for my loved ones who wait for me there.  I believe, God.  I believe that You are and that You reward those who seek You.  I trust You for I have found You faithful in all things.

The Fighter

Song of Solomon 2   Behold, there He stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me:
                           
                             Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

Early this morning I learned that one of my favorite patients lost her battle with cancer.  Her son and daughter posted on Facebook that after a long struggle for life she had died quietly in her home, with her family, in her sleep.

My beloved speaks and says to me:

                            Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

I never loved nursing until I began working in Oncology.  Cancer patients are unique.  They are a people of right priorities.  It seems that their values line up correctly.  They soften and steel themselves in all the right places of their hearts.  That is they soften and become tender in their feelings toward the things and the people that really matter.  And they harden themselves to face the challenges that lie ahead and arm themselves with the will to fight for life.  In the end, most face the reality of their mortality and learn to die with dignity and grace.  They are beautifully courageous.

It seems to me that they are unique in the dying process.  They are privileged if you will.  Instead of facing death instantly they become acquainted slowly.  They acclimate.  This sounds strange, I know, but they transition, as it were, from the living to what is to be.  To what they are to become.  It is a process that can be watched.  With awe.  Slowly becoming more absent than present.  Often they begin to live more in the next world than in this one.  It is as if they begin to visualize a world that we cannot yet see.  Listening for a voice that we cannot yet hear.

Song of Songs  O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice, let me hear it.

Behold, there He stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me:

                              Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

Father I love this life that You have given me.  I am grateful for our friendship.  Thank You for all the things in my life.  You have been so good to me.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of, to be a witness to these wonderful people with cancer.  Thank You for the lessons that they have taught me.  When it comes time for me to die give me the courage to die gracefully.  May I see You there behind the wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  Let me hear You say to me, "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away with Me.  Please say hello to Olivia and tell her that she is beautiful inside and out and she will be missed.

The Seer

Psalm 94   He who planted the ear, does He not hear?  He who formed the eye, does He not see?

What if our eyes were opened and we could see God?

It would be easier, I think, to believe in God if we could see Him.  But we have lost that privilege through disobedience.  In the beginning the Bible says that God walked with Adam and Eve.  They communed with God face to face.

There is a mind set that says that since we cannot see God He must not exist.  Out of sight-out of mind.

But can you see the results of who He is?

On Monday we drove through Colorado Springs up to the top of Pike's Peak.  It is prime time for this drive.

The Aspens are changing color.

Driving through the winding mountains roads we would come around a curve and see the trees lit up with sunlight and they look they are on fire.  It was breathtaking.  All along the mountain ranges the aspens glow standing bright against the green of fir and pine.  Their reflections in the lake are one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

The thought that the world and everything in it came into being by accident or without a creator is....Well I cannot bring to mind a word that is vile enough.  It is an affront to God.  That we could see the beauty, the intelligence, the wonder that is our world and never give thought to it's Creator is appalling.

The Scripture says that the world is the Lords' and everything in it.  Let's forget what the world says, what the educators say and even what our mind and culture says.  Take a walk and listen to your heart.    His handiwork should be enough to convince us of His existence.

He created your ear to hear.  He created your eyes to see.  And if you will allow Him He will open your heart to love.  He is a gentleman, giving us the right of choice and respecting our decisions.  He does not often roar into our lives commanding our attention but rather is found in the sound of the wind and rain.  Flowing softly into our lives through the sounds of birds and the laughter of children.  Warmer than the suns rays and more beautiful than the aspens in their own reflections.

Do you need proof to believe in God?  Watch a sunset.  Sit on the beach in the quiet of your mind and watch the waves roll in.  Look through a telescope on a clear night.  Find a place to be alone and ask the question with a seeking heart, God are you there?

He who planted the ear, does He not hear?  He who formed the eye, does He not see?

Father You are beautiful beyond measure.  You are lovely in Your creativity, wise beyond what we will ever know and generous in Your love for us.  Thank You for creating for us such a wonderful world to live in, for sunlight and moonlight, fire and water, plants and animals.  Open our eyes and ears and hearts to YOU Lord.  Speak softly into the hearts of every seeker and say, Yes I Am here.