The Hospitable

Hebrews 13 Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember those who are in prison, as thoug in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body.

I love this city!

This morning Laura and I went for our early morning walk and prayed on the streets of Jerusalem. It is a wonderful start to the morning. Then it is showers and time of woship with the staff. I had a tasty breakfast of peppers and cheese baked in whole wheat bread. We took the four children who are at home to the park at the Finnish Mission and then down to Zion Square to check the mail, change money and lose my sunglasses :(

While the children were napping Laura and I set off to do some shopping in the Old City. We stopped off at Zak's and had tea with mint which is my favorite and met Basam, the optometrist. From there we went to Ali Babba's for Spikenard and a beautifully decorated textile store for a hand embroidered tunic. We stopped by the Falafel store to see my friend, Samir, who after 27 years in the same shop in the Old City tells us that he may have to sell because the economy is so bad and tourism has fallen off. He says it the worst ever and that he fears that this also is the sign that we are living in the last days. We stopped by to see Johnny the jeweler and say hello.

This city is starting to feel like home to me, a second home anyway. I don't really feel the need to site see or do a lot of shopping now but it is the people who make me feel at home. They have the gift of hospitality. Every shop we stopped in people remember you from the time before. They welcome you to sit, to have tea or coffee and they ask about your family and your health. They invite you to come stay in their homes. They engage in conversation.

So maybe I should say I feel at home with the people in this city. I love their hearts and their sincerity. When they offer friendship, they mean it.

Remember brotherly love...show hospitality....remember those who are mistreated.

I am learning that in this city with these people.

Father You are good. Thank You.

The Heavenly

John 3 If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how will you believe if I told you heavenly things?

Good question.

I wonder....How much of what we read in the Bible do we truly believe? It is my prayer that when I read the Scriptures that I believe them in the same way that I believe, say, the law of gravity. I think it is essential for me to do so. Because if I doubt peices of it, I cannot trust any of it.

I believe that it is God's breath, true in its entirety and without error.

I refuse to believe that it is metaphorical or fallible. It is I who am fallible. If there is an error it is in my thinking. If it seems unclear it is because I am spiritually blind.

In this land where Scriptures are studied, debated, argued, fought over and died for, I find this principle for myself. I must hold to what is unshakable within me. I cannot allow myself to be swayed by every new thought that is presented or every revelation that has been received by another. I too seek truth. I too desire wisdom, knowledge and understanding. But especially here in Israel it seems that every person has strong ideas of who God is, how He thinks and what is pleasing to Him.

I love this conversation between Nicodemus and Jesus, it is one of my favorites. Straight to the point truth between the Son of God and the teacher of Israel. It is simple yet profound. And for me, for today, I want simple truth, simple faith. Like a child.

Father I love being here, hearing the different languages and opinions and thoughts. Help me to be receptive to truth and to have discernment between truth and opinion. Keep me from being drawn into religious debates or theology that is not profitable for me at this time. Speak into my heart Your words of life. Lead me into the knowledge of who You are and what You want me to be.

No one has ascended into heaven except He who descended from heaven, the Son of Man...He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heave is above all.

Speak Father and speak clearly to my heart all that You would have for me. I trust in You. I believe in You. Father help my unbelief as well. I trust in Your word and I desire to hear from You heavenly things.

And please forgive me, my spell check does not work in Israel.

The Spirit

John 3 Jesus answered, Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, you must be born again. The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.

So today I went with Laura to take beautiful Harsheen to the park. She was the only girl upstairs today so it was ladies day at the park. We went to the park at the Finnish Mission and then to the park at Christ Christ. It is beautiful weather here now, night and day. We had lunch upstairs with the moms and then I left for Tel Aviv to see Baran who is still in very serious condition in the ICU.

So for a few moments alone tonight I went up to the roof to pray. It is a very pleasant night. Cool, with a breeze, in Jerusalem.

I prayed for Baran. For life. For healing. For a miracle. I thanked Him for this trip and for my life in Him and for the wonderful adventure that is unfolding here for me. And then I asked Him, What is next for me? Where do I go from here?

And so to answer me, He leads me to the Scriptures...

The wind blows where it wills, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.

The call on my life is the same as it has been through time, Follow Me. No matter what that looks like or if it takes courage or humility. Just be with Me and know Me. Seek Me and cleave to Me. Allow Me to speak truth into your life and make you Mine.

Father teach me to listen, to learn to listen to Your voice; to Your Spirit. There is no other way to peace or happiness or contentment or fulfillment. I love You Father.

The Beloved

Song of Solomon Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away... My beloved is mine, and I am His.

What an awesome gift from our Father are our fellows believers.

Last night I had decided to get to bed early so I would be well rested and enjoy and early morning walk. But thanks be to God that He had scheduled a divine appointment for me.

Some of my fellow co-workers had been on a weekend retreat to Tiberius and brought back with them the married couple with whom they had stayed. Hephzibah and Gunter :)

After my shower I had called Ken to say goodnight and was on my way up to bed when Hephzibah asked me a general question about my life so I sat down and we begin a conversation just about general things, where I am from, what I do for a living, my family, etc. And within moments she turned our conversation toward our Lord and for the next two hours we sat and knitted our hearts together in Christ.

What a wonderful, merciful Father we have who allows us this miracle of conncection in our Spirit with another believer. This is a most wonderful gift from a Father who loves us so completely; this ability to make a real conncection with another person that allows them to have a real impact on our lives. I am changed somehow by my conversation with her. She shared with me some of the revelations that the Lord has revealed to her about Himself and I gain insight from her experience.

This has been a recurring theme since the moment I arrived on this trip. It has been one encounter after another. Not just introductions but meeting of souls and spirits whereby we are used to sharpen each other, to awaken each other to a clearer knowledge of who He is. Like iron sharpening iron, one person sharpens another. This concept has been the overwhelming teaching for this trip. Rafi, Fita, Chrissie, Daoud, Khaled, Hephzibah, Gunter, Suhail and all of the regular staff here pouring out the sweetness of the Spirit of our God into the lives of others has moved me. Drawing me to Him.

That is the wonder of the Helper, the Holy Spirit, always pointing to the Father, to the Son. He does not attract attention to Himself but always reflecting our adoration to the heavens. He is courting us, wooing us, beckoning us into intimacy.

One thing in particular that I will share with you that I learned from Hephzibah; if we are connected to God, engaged with Him in worship and adoration and we live in that place then the outflow of our lives, our ministry, is impacted by our relationship with Him. If we are in constant conversation with Him then our conversations will be about Him and we will draw others into that place of worship. Our acts of service are for Him. We visit the sick as an act of worship, we do all that is done in a day from a place of worship, we clean our houses and feed our families in an act of worshiping our Lord. Therefore, we are never angry at our circumstances or disapointed in our labors, or frustrated with those with whom we are in relationship because we live and breathe inside His presence.

Just by our very conversation she proves this because I am not thinking of her as she is talking; I am worshipping my Lord. That is a gift of the Holy Spirit. She describes it as a constant conversation in her Spirit man in her heart while carrying on a conversation with me and somehow, miraculously, I am drawn into that worship. It was the most amazing conversation that I have had in such a long time.

I find that to be customary here. Strong encounters with the Lord and with other believers. I love it!!

Father I am unworthy of all the gifts You have bestowed on me but I am so grateful. I love you and I praise You and I worship You for You are worthy. Teach me to live and love while worshipping You Lord.

The Amen

II Corinthians 1 For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory. And it is God who establlishes us with you in Christ and has anointed us, and who has also put His seal on us and given us His Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.

This morning my friend and bunkmate, Laura, got up at 6 a.m. to go for a walk before beginning our day. We left Shevet Achim and walked past the Finnish Mission, the King David Hotel and wandered through a park overlooking the Old City walls. She had suggested that we just pray as we went and invite the Lord into our conversation and it just flowed beatifully from prayer to conversation. We prayed for the staff, the children and for Jerusalem herself. It was wonderful and we have decided to make that our goal every morning, offering our day to Him.

We stopped by the bakery to pick up pastry and then by the grocers for yogurt and took that along with coffee into the garden at Shevet Achim. Ryan played guitar and we sang some wonderful old hymns like, Be Thou My Vision. We read aloud from the sermon on the mount and prayed and thanked God for a wonderful start to this morning.

Today I rode with Suhail to Sheba to see Baran and visit with his parents. I was very happy to do this because I have not yet had a chance to get to know Suhail. I wanted to hear his story of coming to the Lord and about the ministry of counseling that he and his wife are involved in. I love it when I ask the right question :) And so on the ride to Tel Aviv I sat happily listening to his story. And in my spirit I hear, Amen. Amen. He spoke of having an empty heart that nothing could fill until he met the Lord. He shared how he was anointed by the Holy Spirit and how that experience made him long to forever be in the presence of the Lord and how that had changed his life completely. He talked of the Lord as if speaking of a friend. A constant companion who had loved him through a relationship that could be felt and touched and over and over an amen rose up in my heart.

My visit was Baran and his parents was not so joyful. Abu Baran is very sick. He looks like he has the flu and this has prevented him from spending time with his son. He asks me to help him, please help him with being able to take his son back to Kurdistan. He says that if Baran has no hope then he would like to remove him from the ventilator, accept all responsibility for that action as his father and take the child and his mother home. There is such a pleading look in his eyes and he is so humble and broken that I feel bruised by his pain. It is palpable, his sense of loss. And I am reminded again of why I am here. And how immense the need is here. For how can we ever do enough to ease their suffering? What can I do for them?

I have returned to the house and will go to the roof and play with the children for a while and let their laughter comfort to me. This place is so special to my heart and I believe in the work that is being done here. But it is hard sometimes.

Father, show me, show us what to do to help these precious, gracious people. Help us to lead them to You Lord. Father be a presence that can be felt with Baran and his parents tonight. I pray that You would be merciful to them, that You would heal them, that You would be found by them. Teach us Lord to be involved in their lives and in their suffering and help us to find ways to help them.

The Restoration

Psalm 23 The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

Last night all of my bunkmates were gone for the night and for the first time in my adult life I slept until one o'clock in the afternoon. I could not believe it. I have never felt so refreshed. It was unfortunate that I had a meeting at Christ Church at one o'clock. Hopefully she will forgive me and we will reschedule.

So since I missed my appoitment I was invited to go to the Old City with some new friends. The Church of the Redeemer was hosting a German Christmas Market. Yay! Afterwards we went to Papa Andreas for refreshments. It is a cafe in the middle of the Christian Quarter that is on an upper level veranda overlooking the city, facing the Mount of Olives. And later we took a walk down Christian Quarter Road and I visited with my friend Zack who is the owner of an antiquities shop which also sells olive wood and beautfil jewelry. It was so good to see him and to see some picures of his new baby. After dinner we watched Fiddler on the Roof.

Again I am faced with the truth about why the Lord brought me here this time. This entire trip has been about building relationships. Being kind of shy and sometimes awkward in social situations I was a little apprehensive about this but it has been so much fun.

I feel a deep sense of peace in this trip and I hope that this is a reflction of knowing that I am where the Lord has chosen for me to be at this time. So when I miss Ken or the kids, and I do very much, I also can rest in knowing that they are in the care of the only One that I can trust. He has purposed this time and I am in His care and so are they.

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

I could never have imagined the way that He is expanding my life. I am finding Him unpredictable in a lovely way. It is as if He is enchanting me, courting me. He is delightful to me. I feel like a child in a fairy tale life. I feel incredibly grateful and honored.

You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.

Father I love you so much. I love the way You are opening life up to me. Thank You for this amazing opportunity. I pray that You would protect and bless those that my heart loves and bring us safetly back together before Christmas. Protect my son as he serves his country in distant places, give him adventure Lord and expand his boundaries.

The Honor

Exodus 20 Remember the Sabbath day,to keep it holy.

Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem!

Today I received an honor from Gaddy who is our Latvian Christian Jewish co-worker at Shevet Achim. He asked me to light the Shabbat candles for our meal. Just another "to do before I die" crossed off the list. What a memory to treasure.

Only in Jerusalem can a girl from Alabama along with two other American believers join a Muslim background believer, a Jew from Latvia and a Christian from Singapore for a Shabbat meal. I am overwhelmed with the goodness of the Lord toward us.

Every day since I have been here there has some moment during the day when I have been given a treasure. A jewel. An honor. What have I done to deserve such extravagant gifts? Who am I to be granted permission to light candles for Shabbat? Who is sufficient for these things?

Father thank You for giving me a lowly existence. Thank You for the simple life that I have led. For how could I have ever appreciated the wonder that I have found in You and in the adventure of the life that You have provided for me without living the life of the lowly. I am grateful that I have not known great wealth or great knowledge. I am thankful that I was raised in such a small town because it allows me to look at the world with a child like excitement. Thank You also for my education, for leading me in that direction and showing me the wonder of science. Thank You for expanding the boundaries of my mind, my heart, my culture and my thinking.

Thank you Lord for this adventure that I have found in You. You RULE Lord :)

The Well

John 4 Jesus said to her, Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

The mothers have informed me that my name is Kurdistani. Wow, I had no idea :) Its meaning is, a well of water. The thought of that makes me happy. Never am I more conscious of water than when I am here.

Our spring of water welling up is in the form of a peson. A part of the trinity; our Helper, the Holy Spirit.

So this morning in the Shevet Achim garden, I am thinking of why Jesus would refer to the Helper as a well of living water. Maybe because, especially here in Israel, nothing survives without water. With light from the sun, wamth from the earth and water from the heavens almost anything will grow.

Every time I come to Shevet Achm this courtyard garden becomes more mature, more beautiful. Someone is taking the time to water and because of that people are spending time here. The porch has been repaired. The walkway has been cemented in place. New plants are flourishing in pots and in the earth. There is even garden art now. A beautiful old arched window frame with blue shutters fits in perfectly here.

This morning we decided that instead of our usual meeting and worship time indoors that we would meet for breakfast and worship in the garden. Yay!

Laura and I walked across the street to the bakery for chocolate, cinammon and sweet cheese pastry. We brought out the tablecloth from the dining room to the outdoor table and set up a breakfast table that included pastry, pita, hummus, coffee, tea, bananas, apples and fresh figs. And Ryan, Mary, Laura, Gaddy and I had a beautiful, bountiful breakfast in the garden of our Lord. We took turns reading Scripture and planned our day. Perfection.

After some household chores I see that Ryan has moved his homework outside to the garden and I join him in this quiet place to write this blog. And the verse comes to mind, You will be like a well watered garden.

We carry in our lives the very fragrance of the Lord. We bear His own image. Sprinkled by His blood. Filled with His living water. A reflection of His own heart.

I want my life to mimic what I have found in this small oasis in Jerusalem. I want others to be drawn to the well of living water that lives within me. I want to offer comfort like shade. Beauty like bouganvillea. Aroma like lavender. Freshness of mint. Sweetness of figs. I want to be an oasis in this place.

Father, teach me. I have none of this within my flesh. Teach me to breathe out Your Holy Spirit. Alive and living in me. May I live close enought to You to carry Your frangrance. To bear Your image. To be a real well of water springing up. Just like my Kurdistani name. Just like my Jerusalem garden.

The Song

Psalm 100 Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who has made us, and we are His; we are the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him, bless His name! For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations.

Thanksgiving in Jerusalem.

So I will start my song of thanksgiving to the Lord with that. I am thankful for where I am today for being in this place is a testament to the faithfulness of our God. He can be trusted to fulfill what He promises.

I have so many things to be thankful for today. But I will focus on just one here.

Today I am thankful that we have a God who answers prayers.

If you follow the Shevet Achim website or are familiar with the work here then you may have seen the blogs on Baran. He is still in serious condition in the ICU. His father was to arrive here last night. All that could be done for him to come without delay had been done. He was granted an emergeyncy visa and lettes were written from the hospital on the seriousness of his son's condition in the hopes that it would guarantee his admission to the country. But last night we received a call saying that he would be denied entry to Israel.

So we gathered together in the office to pray to the One who has all power to make a way for Abu Baran. We prayed for intervention. For mercy. For favor. We acknowledged our complete helplessness and dependence on our Father and our belief that He has power to raise the dead. To part the sea. To clear Israeli security. (Which is almost just as difficult)

Those of us still awake when the phone rang a couple of hours later woke the others with our cheering. Mercy triumphs over judgement.

All things bend to the will of the Father. And He bends His ear toward the prayers of His people.

Father everything we have is a gift from You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. For my family. For my church. For my friends. For My husband and our children. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for saving me. Thank You for anointing me with Your precious Holy Spirit. Thank You for bringing me to this place. So, to You alone Father my heart sings a song of thanksgiving.

Oh, by the way, yesterday I said I could not wait to see who showed up at the door today. It was my friend and prophet from the mount of olives, Daoud. If you would like to see his amazing personal testimony check him out on YouTube and search David Fisherman. If it pulls up several pics he is an arab man sitting in front of a jerusalem stone wall :) Enjoy.

The Friends

Romans 12 Love one another with brotherly affection.

On my first trip to Israel I planned a fourteen day travel itenerary. Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, Haifa, Caessarea, Netanya, Jaffa, the Dead Sea, Galilee....I did not know a single person in this country. It was a quest. And a disaster.

It is only when I come here that it seems that every trip has it's own purpose. Each trip unique in the story it has to tell. Every time a new lesson to learn.

This trip is no different, in that it is also different, if you get it. I haven't seen a single "site". Not one shopping trip. No one tour.

I had written several days ago that in preparation for this trip the Lord had been speaking to me specifically about building up relationships on this trip. So it should be no surprise that "relationships" are knocking on the door at Shevet Achim.

On my first night in the house it was so good to see the staff and volunteers here, new and old. It felt like coming home to a family that you have missed. Last night I was surprised by a visit from Chrissie, Rafi, Fita and their new baby Mark. Tonight my friend Khaled came by for tea and a long talk.

It is comforting to me that my Lord knows and prepares me for what lies ahead.

Again He is expanding my boundaries. Not just geographically. He is expanding the boundary of my heart. Giving me opportunities to learn hospitality. And who better to teach hospitality than the middle eastern people. Gracious. Affectionate. Transparent. Welcoming. They show genuine smiles, warm hugs and sweet kisses on each cheek.

Love one another with brotherly affection.

Father I love you. I love You for teaching us daily about tender affection for one another. I love these beautiful souls that You are planting in my life. Teach me Father to be a faithful friend. Honest. Hospitable. Trustworthy.

I can't wait to see who shows up at the door tomorrow!

The Ewe

II Samuel 11 But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.

II Samuel 12 And the Lord sent Nathan to David.

He came to him and said to him, There were two men in a certain city, the one rich and the other poor. The rich man had very many flocks and herds, but the poor man had nothing but one little ewe lamb, which he had bought. And he brought it up, and it grew up with him and with his children. It used to eat of his morsel and drink from his cup and lie in his arms, and it was like a daughter to him. Now there came a traveler to the rich man, and he was unwilling to take one of his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had come to him, but he took the poor man's lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him. Then David's anger was greatly kindled against the man, and he said to Nathan, As the Lord lives, the man who has done this deserves to die, and he shall restore the lamb fourfold, because he did this thing, and because he had no pity.

Nathan said to David, You are the man. Thus says the Lord, God of Israel, I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. And I gave you your master's house and your master's wives into your arms and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah. And if this were to little, I would haved added to you as much more.

And Nathan said to David, The Lord also has put away your sin: you shall not die.

Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the Lord, the child who is born to you shall die.

It is a mystery, a miracle really, how the Holy Spirit can take such a specific and ancient story or event and apply it in it's entirety our lives. The Helper comes to lead me to truth in this matter.

Hebrews 4 For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword, peircing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from it's sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

It is enough to say that our Father knew us all before the foundations of the world were laid. Everything about us. All our triumphs and failure. The mystery is that in knowing that why would He choose to create us anyway. Therein lives the unfathomable love of God.

It is worth noting that there are consequences to our choices, our sins. Forgiveness and consequences are sometimes far removed from each other. They are independent of each other. David made some terrible choices for which he paid a terrible price. For who can place a value on the life of a child? It is easier for us to bear the consequences of our sin, I think, than it is to see those we care for suffer for our actions. But that is a reality. We rarely suffer alone.

Father this work, this life, is so hard sometimes. I accept Your forgiveness and I know that You would not have me live a life of regret or to be defined by guilt. But the truth is that we all face consequences of the choices that we make. Give us grace to bear up under the weight of it and to learn from it. Some lessons are so profoundly painful that I hope not to be required to learn them a second time. Thank You for the stories of the Old Testament. Real people, loved by God, with all same burdens and failures and weaknesses that we still face today. Thank You for telling us the whole story of their lives the good and the bad. The sinner within the saint.

The Lyrics

Psalm 119 I have stored up Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.

Day two of my new adventure with the Lord in Jerusalem. I am in the courtyard garden at Shevet Achim and it is one of my favorite places on the planet. I am at rest here. I find this house very different on this trip. Growing. Gaining strength. Beautiful. The influence of its youngest and newest members used by God to bring a deep breath of fresh air.

Last night Ryan gave permission to the children to stay up a little past bedtime and watch him write an ancient Persian poem on the walls in Hebrew. In red paint :) Red makes a bold statement on the white plastser walls. I wonder what the children are thinking of this young, good looking, American boy who lets children stay up late and is allowed to paint on walls. He must seem like a rebel. A hero to young boys.

In very large, red Hebrew letters is a part of that poem...

Now, all the internal instruments are playing the same music: God, what love mischief can "we" do for the world, today? (Hafiz)

Galations 6 See with what large letters I am writing to you with my own hand.

This morning I watched and photogrphed Michelle, or Mooshelle as one of the children call her, and Laura with the children on the roofop. It is one of the highlights of my trip every year. Guitars. Tamborines. Kurdish, English and Arabic voices raising praise to our God from the rooftops of Jerusalem. Like smoke rising from the temple.

Within moments it is followed by the call to prayer from the city. Beautiful. Haunting. Somewhat tragic.

How our Father must be pleased to see His people shine the light of hope in this city.

It is no coincidence that these children are here at such an impressionable age. It is by design. Because at this young age lasting impressions are made. Words, memories and songs are being hidden in their hearts to be taken to foreign lands where they will be dispersed to the hearts of other children.

Har tow pirozee, pirozee, pirozee eh khudah

Har tow pirozee, pirozee, pirozee eh khudah

pirozee la koosha weesteeda

pirozee har la rasteedah

pirozee larizgar kirdina

priozee har la chak kurdinah

har la chak kurdinah

You are awesome, awesome, awesome O God
You are awesome, awesome, awesome O God

Awesome in Your love, awesome in Your faithfulness

Awesome in Your liberation, awesome also in You healing

When I was a little girl the Bible man came to our elementary school. He would stand before his felt canvas on an easel and tell the stories of Jesus. As he would teach he would continue to add his felt people, animals and landscaping, building a poster picture to go along with the stories that he was telling. By the end of the story he would have "painted" a beautiful picture of the life of Christ. Feeding the five thousand. Walking on water to Peter's outstretched hand on the Sea of Galilee. On the cross.

It formed a lasting impression.

Thy Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee.

Father, I cannot thank you enough today for your grace in allowing me to come here again. Help me to learn the hard lessons well. My prayer is that I will accomplish all You have chosen for me and that I will finish well. I pray that You will be pleased. Father bless this house and all Your people who live here. I pray that the love and kindness and words of praise to You that the children are learning here will be forever implanted in their hearts. I pray that it will make an impact. A lasting impression in Your kingdom.

The Supplies

Romans 15 For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make some contribution for the poor among the saints at Jerusalem. For they were pleased to do so, and indeed they owe it to them. For if the Gentiles have come to share in their spiritual blessings, they ought also to be of service to them in material blessings.

I am falling in love again with all the attributes of my Father, my friend. His traits are altogether lovely. He is mercy, faithfulness, truth, gentleness, kindness. He is fair and He is practical. Yeah, He's practical.

I arrived safely in Tel Aviv, Irael at Ben Gurion last night, although for about 3 hours overs the ocean I was not sure I was going to. It was "bumpy" and I was traveling alone. I didn't cry but I got "prayed up" as we say. It felt good to land. It felt good to land here. Almost familiar now. An easy check in to this country that I find myself to drawn to. I was picked up by Mary, Donna and Gaddy and we made the drive together up to Jerusalem :) which I love. A warm Israeli night. Pleasant. New friends. Old friends.

Dinner was a fabulous homeade chicken soup that they could not have known how much I needed. I am still nursing a cold. I was introduced to three of the children and their mothers at beditme meds but I'm jet lagged so we can't really count that as a proper introduction. They have been told that the US nurse is here. The "sister" in Kurdish.

This trip is different already. I left about 40 pounds of useless personal things at home this time and opted to bring some much needed supplies. Maybe I am growing up, a little. Forty pounds worth, anyway. It is an odd assortment that we unpacked. Some medications, blankets, donated clothes, some medical equipment, hot chocolate and toilet paper "to go" :)

So after a much needed shower, greetings, introductions and ambrosia for dinner, I settle in with my new roomies and hope to hear something quick from the Lord :) I am very tired. I just happen to pick up where I left off yesterday in Romans and find these verses...

For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make some contribution for the poor among the saints at Jerusalem. For they were pleased to do so, and indeed they owe it to them. For if the Gentiles have come to share in their spiritual blessings, they ought also to be of service to them in material blessings.

Only God can breathe out Scripture that is useful. Every day. In every situation. Only He can know what we will need to find in Scripture every day. In every situation. That is a miracle. That He meets us in His Word every time is a miracle. Just another reminder that He sees us. He knows us. He understands us and what we are facing. He forgives us when we're tired and we say Lord speak quickly, I'm fading. He can say so much in a moment.

I owe a debt to the forefathers of this land. To them were given the Words of Life. They received through the work of the Holy Spirit, through the life of Jesus Christ and through encounters with God the Father, the Holy Scriptures. And their hearts were hardened so that we might be grafted in. We owe our very lives to them. We owe them our salvation in a way.

They owe it to them. For if the Gentiles have come to share in their spiritual blessings, they ought also to be of service to them in material blessings.

And with that thought I am able to drift gratefully to sleep.

It is morning now even though my body is telling me it is not. Day one of a new adventure here. Another journey into my life and walk with the Lord and I cannot wait.

The Ceremony

Romans 10 How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent...So, faith comes by hearing and hearing through the Word of God.

On the day that I graduated from nursing school we had a pinning ceremony. A separate graduation for nursing where we received a pin to certify our completion of the nursing program. It was one of the greatest days of my life. A pin was placed on my uniform by my nursing instructor like a badge of honor. Like a gold medal. Like a coat of arms. I spoke before the crowd that day of the faithfulness of my God who had brought me so far and our chaplain (and we were the first class to ever elect one) sang, Love them like Jesus.

We were, for the most part, a spiritual group with almost every single student claiming the name of Christ. We prayed collectively before every test, every time, for two years. It was our goal to let the love of Christ be shown to others in our work. We would vow to present ourselves to our chosen fields and practice our skills in the love of Christ. It was a noble idea. A noble profession.

And this is where it gets a little tricky. Because I really liked that idea. Just go to work and love them in Jesus name. After all, does not the Bible say that if you offer a drink of cool water in His name that there is great reward in that? So bear with me for a moment.

Truly it is not enough, just in and of itself, to love like Jesus. It is just the beginning. For if we love others in His name but they never are lead to the knowledge of how to find Him what have we really accomplished?

How are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard?

Jesus' greatest commandments were to love the Lord with all you've got and to love one another. But what does it say? That the law is fulfilled in the loving. The rest of the law is pretty much action. Acting out that love. The love of Jesus was an active love. Always pointing the way to His Father. To Truth. To eternity.

If we just love, just to show kindness it is not enough. We must lead them to the source. The chorus of that song says, Love them like Jesus. Carry them to Him.

I learned something about myself in just having this attitude in my work. It is easier for me to say in my heart, Lord as I work today, I will work in Your power, You strength, Your wisdom and Your love. My work is for You. I will treat my patients with the warmth and gentleness and kindness that You have shown me. That was the easy part. It got a little tougher to open my mouth and begin a conversation about where their heart was with the Lord. But it is their heart that He is after. So I learned that loving them like Jesus was a reward for me but that it really didn't benefit them that much. What they really need, what we really need, what the world really needs is a Savior. Not just to be loved.

It is a start. It plants a seed. It shows a changed life. It is the greatest of all commandments. But without the knowledge that leads to Christ, it is just not enough.

Faith comes by hearing, and hearing through the Word of Christ.

Father, this is just another area of my life where I would withhold myself from You. I want to do the least I can to get by. It is uncomfortable for me to speak sometimes. It is just easier to love and hope that they see You in my work. In my attitude. But that does not lead to salvation. It might lead to curiosity, it might start a conversation but at some point for it to really matter, it must lead to the truth of who You ARE. And how will they know, if they never hear. Love without knowledge or truth is really just good works. I don't want people to think that I am just nice, or a friendly person or a conscientious worker. I want them to know that these attitudes flow out from a relationship with YOU. Teach me Lord to open my mouth and share with others the life changing truth that leads to salvation through faith. Through hearing. Through the Word of YOU.

The Zealous

Romans 10 For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge.

If this statement were not so tragic and true it would be funny. The first thought that came to my mind was random and very southern. She is runnin around like a chicken with her head cut off!

So, I am guessing that the topic for today is "busyness". Without direction or purpose.

I am trying a little different approach to Scripture reading these days. Many verses, like the one above, are written about a specific group or about a specific event. So I think that sometimes I see these verses as not really being applicable to me personally. Then I read this verse again...

II Timothy 3 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

So, considering this, what does a zeal for God without knowledge mean to me today.

Busyness has always been friend mine. Ken says that I clean like someone who is being chased. I love to be busy. So for the last couple of years one way that I can tell that the Lord is preparing me for an Israel trip is that He quietens me. I just suddenly stop. I spend hours sitting at my desk or curled up on the sofa with my books and computer. It is as if He is resetting my internal clock for Israeli time. It is also a time of needed rest and being filled up with Him and His Word. It is in preparation for being busy in Jerusalem.

It is strange that in the last few days I have had several invitations to coffee. And can I just stop right here and say that the thought of having coffee in Jerusalem is healing to the soul. One invitation is from a lady in Germany whom I have never met or corresponded with until today. But for someone like me having coffee is the opposite of busy. Having coffee is time consuming. It is relaxing. Enjoyable. Just the thought of it makes me peaceful. And what about all the work that needs to be done while I am languishing away in a coffee shop?

And so He begins to save me from myself and speak to my heart about His heart. And His heart has always been about relationships.

What do we see most often in the gospels? Jesus building relationships. At weddings. At the well. Over dinner. In the temple. By the Sea. Reclining at the table. Investing in the lives of others.

And so we come to the truth of the matter. Work, for me, is a way of not getting involved. It is not personal. It is a task that must be completed and that is easier for me than sitting down face to face and opening my heart and life up to another person.

But that is exactly the way that He would have me live. He would have me get involved, not with just the work, with the people. The work belongs to Him.

Psalm 127 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for He gives to His beloved even in sleep.

Father, thank You for teaching me about priorities in my life. Your priorities. Your perspective. Thank You for teaching me about myself and all areas in my life that I would keep from You. Hide from You. And how silly is that, the thought that I could keep anything from You is an example of how incorrect my thinking can become. It is people that you are after. Hearts and souls. Thank You for showing me that they are found through relationships. To everything there is a season, right? Time for work, time for rest, time to pray, time to love. And time is short. Help me make the most of my days Father, for Your kingdom. For Your glory. For Your children. And Father, thank You for telling me that I am worth knowing. Tear down the lies Lord and show me how You see me. I love You so much.

The Source

Ephesians 6 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore.

An there it is in black and white. The answer to many of life's questions. The cause of most conflicts; the source of much confusion; the root cause of jealousy, bitterness and anger. It is so simple. My real conflict is with my real enemy.

Bless our hearts. It really is a miracle that any of us make it through this life. Most of us carry such heavy burdens of personal baggage from our past in the form of past failures, abuse, guilty consciences, to inner thoughts of weaknesses or physical flaws that haunt us. Add to that just the stresses of life, good and bad. From busy parenting to the responsibilities of owning a home, to traffic and budgeting in a tight economy. Along with that we face illness and injury or loss of loved ones from disease or death. We juggle jobs, families and faith. And if that is not sufficient to cause a mental breakdown....

I Peter 5 Be sober minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.

We have a formidable enemy, capable of plaguing mind and body, and his desire is to crush you. To destroy you. And if you want to really feel the fire of his fury determine in your heart to commit your way to Christ.

But what if during our struggles we were given a change of perspective. What if we realized that we were not really battling our families, our coworkers or our neighbors; we are really in a battle with our true enemy, the devil.

For we do not struggle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

If you claim the name of Christ you have a powerful enemy. He lives to cause discord among the brethren, among families and within your own thoughts. He longs to draw us into conflicts and confusion, doubt and fear. He is the stealer of happiness, peace, contentment and joy. He hinders the work of our church and personal ministries.

But you have an all powerful defender who has equipped you with armor and sword for your defense.

Ephesians 6 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit.

Father when I feel conflicted within myself or with others, when I feel overwhelmed with this life, when I grow weary of my emotional baggage, I ask that my Helper will remind me of this truth. My real and only enemy is the devil and he is temporary. I also have an anchor and a set of armor given to me by my all powerful Father. And having put it on and having done all to stand, stand firm therefore in His strength.

The Relationship

Philippians 4 For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Are there any greater joys on this earth than peace with others and contentment within ourselves? The lack of these has been one the greatest difficulties in my life. Peace and contentment seem to ebb and flow according to the circumstances that I find myself in.

So where exactly do we find peace?

Isaiah 26 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You.

Never is this more of a struggle for me than when I am in Israel. Maybe it is because there is so much at stake for me there.

I am returning to Israel this weekend and in my attempt to get "real" with the Lord I will ask Him, for He is the only one who knows, How do I find peace and contentment in my life in every situation? How do I keep my mind stayed on You?

This is where He must be more to us than words on a page. He must be real. He cannot just be a wonderful story in book.

So in answer to my question He leads me to the book of Matthew.

Matthew 11 Go tell John what you see; the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by Me....What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? What then did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft clothing? Behold, those who wear soft clothing are in kings' houses. What then did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet...But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market places and calling to their playmates, We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.

What did you go out into the wilderness to see, Connie? I have already healed the blind, the deaf, the lepers and raised the dead. I have already given the Good News. What then did you go out to see? Were you looking for a soft place to land? A prophet to perform wonders and miracles? Were you hoping to find peace and contentment on the streets of the Old City? Do not think childishly. Do not say, I played the flute and no one danced.

You will not find Me in Jerusalem or anywhere else until I cannot be found by you in everything. You will not find Me by working for Me or writing for Me.

You find Me in a relationship.

Day by day. Until I become more to you than anything else you will never find true contentment and peace because I made you that way. You cannot cultivate these things within yourself, they are gifts that flow from My Spirit abiding within you.

I have prepared everything for you. All you need to do is walk in Me. Live and breathe in Me. Draw strength from the relationship with Me. I am peace and contentment. It is not found. It is lived.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

From Frances J Roberts' Come Away My Beloved For when I am to you more precious than all else; and when you love Me more than you love any other, then shall you know complete satisfaction.

Father as I prepare to leave, as I am packing my suitcases, would you place in my heart the gifts that You would have me bring to Shevet Achim, the things that You have desired. Laughter. Joy. Peace. Happiness. Contentment. Worship. Willingness. Love. Send with me the gifts of the Spirit and the ability to let You move in out of my life freely and abundantly.

Father you know this heart of mine and how it is diligently seeking You. Thank You for being found Lord. Thank You for showing me my heart and Yours.

The Ordinary

Romans 4 He (Abraham) did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.

I love these verses. They contain so much truth that you could teach, preach and disciple for weeks on end just from these verses.

Abraham had been promised a child from the Lord. A legitimate child from his marriage to Sarah. So, what are the chances that a one hundred year old man and a postmenopausal woman will conceive?

Not very good.

But when God steps into our lives He takes up all of our limited resources and He breathes into us the power that created this world and raised Jesus from the dead. And our lives become a living creature. A walking, breathing miracle.

As I was reading these verses I began thinking about the way in which Jesus stepped into my own life and that weekend that completely changed my direction. I remembered the Monday morning when I came back to work and announced to my friends that I had met the Lord over the weekend and He had told me what was to come in the future for me, how I would become a nurse and how my life would be changed and that I would travel to Israel and He would provide a place for me there. I remember looking at their faces, mouths open in disbelief, right before the quiet turned to laughter. They thought I was joking. Or crazy.

But they were considering the flesh. And the flesh wasn't doing so good.

The flesh was a high school drop out. A teenage pregnancy out of wedlock. A couple of failed relationships. An addiction. I was a person who had never been on an airplane and rarely had acknowledged the existence of God. And I won't lie to you now. It has been a long and difficult road. I still live in this flesh. It has been a mixture of success and failure; struggle and triumph; blood, sweat and tears along with a few temper tantrums. And when I attempt it in my own strength it is an impossible disaster.

But living on the inside of me is the Holy Spirit; the exact replica of Jesus Christ and God Almighty. He is the essence of the power that raises the dead. And when I consider my own body, as good as dead....I consider Him. I trust Him. I believe in Him.

Every time I falter He is there to encourage me to try again. When I take a step of faith He becomes firm ground under my feet. In times of difficulty whether it was going to court to regain custody of my children, finding the courage to take the GED, needing strength to work full time and go to college at night, the excitement of applying for a passport, the feeling of accomplishment speaking at my college graduation, telling of His faithfulness in every circumstance... In every trial He is there because He is faithful to do what He has promised. I have no faith in my own abilities but I am fully convinced that God will complete what he has begun. In me.

We are the pinnacle of God's creation but aside from Him we are powerless. He brings the extra to the ordinary. He wants to do extraordinary things in each of us because He is an extraordinary God. Wherever you are. Whatever you've done. He wants to give you a kingdom inheritance.

He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body...or Sarah's. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God...he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised.

That is why his faith was counted to him as righteousness. But the words "it was counted to him" were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in Him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.

Amen? Amen Lord. We count You as faithful and true. Lord remind us who we are. We are YOUR children. We are the KING'S children. We have a kingdom inheritance sealed in the heavens that never fades away. The power of YOUR life lives in each of us who call on Your name. The power that enables men to walk on water, heal the sick and raise the dead lives within our very bodies. Rise, O Lord, and shine. Reveal Your glory to us. Lord help our unbelief and increase our faith in YOU.

The Worshippers

Revelation 4 HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come! And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who is seated on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crown before the throne, saying, Worthy are You, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for You created all things, and by Your will they existed and were created.

This morning as the choir was singing I was sitting in my seat listening to the words of their song and my heart started to pound, my pulse raced, my breath quickened, my eyes teared and as they started to sing...

When I come before His presence I humble myself; I lift up both my hands and I begin to worship Him. I worship Him.....For what He's done for me.....Redeemed and set me free.....Just because.....Just because You are God.

I found myself on my feet, both hands up high, tears streaming down my face, shaking from head to toe....worshipping Him. For what He's done for me.

John 19 As He was drawing near-already on the way down the Mount of Olives-the whole multitude of His disciples began to rejoice and praise God with a loud voice for all the mighty works that they had seen, saying, Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest! And some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Him, Teacher, rebuke Your disciples. He answered, I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.

That is how I felt this morning. When Jesus comes near, when we see what He has done, when we realize who He is, praise should be our natural response. Worship is in response to being in His presence.

Why do you think it is so important to worship?

Maybe part of the answer to this is that it brings our hearts, our minds, our souls into agreement with His. When we worship our focus is on Him and what He has done. We acknowledge His worth. We stand face to face with what He has accomplished. And He does everything with excellence. In those moments we honor Him for who He IS. We bring ourselves into a place of humility before Him. We assume our rightful role and we agree that He is worthy of our praise.

If you want to see me weep openly, ask me about what He has done for me. He brought me back from the dead. He saved me. Literally. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Financially. ENTIRELY. I was dead to everything. He became my life. He is my good. He is my restorer, my Helper, My Savior. He is everything. And He is worthy.

Worship is our acknowledgement of who He is and what He is worth. To us.

Father how can we ever measure Your worth? The universe itself can never contain Your glory. May our lives reflect the gratitude that we feel in our hearts for what You have done for us personally. I don't know what You ever saw in me Father but I am eternally grateful that You loved me. You loved me enough to make Yourself known to me, to engage in a relationship with me, to begin to do a work of change in me and when this life is over, when this flesh has failed, You will bring me safely into Your kingdom and into Your care for all of eternity. If you had done nothing but that, it would have been too much. But You give more and more and more.

For what He's done for me. I worship Him.

The Kibbutz

Genesis 43 Take some of the choice fruits of the land in your bags, and carry a present down to the man, a little balm and a little honey, gum, myrrh, pistachio nuts, and almonds.

And just like that I am transported back to one of my favorite memories. I am with my sisters in the Lord at the Kibbutz in Yardenit on our way to the Sea of Galilee for the night.

If you have never tasted dates, humus, olives and nuts from the Holy Land you have missed out on a real treat. The combination of things bought in the kibbutz and from Jerusalem were like fruits of the Spirit. Medjoul dates, fresh pita, humus, dried pineapple, ginger and strawberries, anointing oil of spikenard and myrrh, honey and pomegranate juice squeezed on the street in Jerusalem is like balm for the soul. Soothing. Welcoming. Reminding us from where good things come. They also remind us of intimacy with other believers and with Him.

The Song of Solomon is the most intimate of all Scriptures. A beautiful picture of marital love. Godly love. Intimate love. And what are the descriptive words most often used to describe this awesome experience? Wine. Oil. Myrrh. Henna. Cedar. Pine. Rose. Lilly. Raisins. Apples. Figs. Frankincense. Pomegranates. Cinnamon. Aloe. Honey. The tastes and smells of intimate love and conversation.

We so often acquaint wonderful moments in our lives with the smell and taste of food. So many of our celebrations are centered around a meal. We see this in the life of Jesus with His disciples at their last supper together before His suffering. An intimate meal among friends before the crucifixion. The smell of spikenard on His skin. Reminders of soft intimate encounters for our Lord before the horror that was to come. A reminder of where good things come from.

I am sitting in front of my fireplace with a cup of hazelnut coffee, a english muffin covered in butter, cinnamon and honey, surrounded by the smell of a wood fire, a scented candle and the leather of my backpack planning a trip back where I hope to make new friends, experience new adventures, hear the laughter of new children and enjoy new times of intimacy with the Lord. My prayer is that when times are difficult that I will remember this moment of peaceful time with my Father and be comforted. I will remember Him. How He lived. How He loved. How He engaged people. How He died to Himself.

Lord Jesus I NEED You. I have no power on my own. I have no overflowing joy and genuine love for others apart from You. I must look to You for direction, to You for faithfulness, to You for genuine love, to You for intimacy. I am too selfish and have been too damaged by life to produce any of the fruits of the Spirit on my own. If I love it will be You who loves. If I am faithful it will be You who lives through me. If I am accomplished it will be Your power dwelling in me. If there is any kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, generosity and compassion it will be from You Lord. Teach me to empty myself of everything. Every agenda. Every plan. Teach me to allow You to move in and out of my life. You are my good.

Lord restore our fortunes like the stream in the Negev! Those who sow in tears, they shall reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping with seeds for sowing will return with joy. He will return with songs of joy. He will return. He will return with a harvest of sheaves. Sons of Korah.

The Holiday

Leviticus 22 And when you sacrifice a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the Lord, you shall sacrifice it so that you my be accepted. It shall be eaten on the same day, and you shall leave none of it until morning. I AM the Lord.

Last week as I was preparing to meet with my sisters in the Lord for direction and timing for an upcoming trip the Spirit led me to this verse. I believe that this is a direct answer for my question on timing for this trip.

Does that seem strange to you? I admit sometimes it is strange to me as well but I believe that this is one of the ways that the Spirit leads us and even though I find it odd, at times, I also find it fascinating.

So today I asked the Lord again for guidance, clarity, wisdom and understanding for what is to come. I picked up where I had left off yesterday in reading through the Psalms and this is where I landed....

Psalm 50 Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon Me in the day of trouble, I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.

If this is coincidence, if there is no divine influence in this being just where I happened to leave off yesterday, then I should go buy a lottery ticket immediately. The odds are just about the same. So many times I think we ask the Lord to speak and when things like this happen we dismiss them as ironic, weird or coincidence instead of seeing the fact that God speaks to us through His Word.

So I believe that what the Spirit is speaking to me is that I will be in Jerusalem for Thanksgiving. It does not feel like a sacrifice in either sense.

Whether we are offering the gift of thanksgiving to the Lord in the traditional sense or giving to Him the holiday itself it feels like an offering rather than a sacrifice.

Lately I have been thinking about essential things in our lives and absolute truths and dismissing the lies from the enemy. This is an essential truth for me that the Holy Spirit leads us in various ways, through various means such as people, scriptures and songs. He speaks to us in different ways because we are different. And He always leads us into truth. The Lord speaks to me in quiet places. In isolation. For you it may be totally opposite.

One of the problems with learning to listen to the Lord is that we talk ourselves out of what we hear. Or we let "human" reasoning discredit what we have heard. For instance, when you read the verses above and how the Holy Spirit used these unrelated verses to impress upon me that I should forfeit Thanksgiving dinner with my family to be in Jerusalem was there a part of you that thought, Wow that's a stretch! Are you uncomfortable when someone says to you that God has spoken to them?

Why does it seem so odd to us that God would have conversations with his children? Where do we think the Word of God came from? Did He complete all He had to say to us when the Bible was written?

II Samuel 23 The Spirit of the Lord speaks to me; His word is on my tongue.

Psalm 143 Teach me to do Your will for You are my God! Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground!

Luke 12 And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.

John 16 I still have many things to say to you, buy you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth, for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak, and He will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take what is mine and declare it to you. All that the Father has is Mine; therefore I said that He will take what is mine and declare it to you.

I think the bottom line for most of us is this; we believe that God can speak we just don't believe that we are worth speaking to. We see the people of the Bible as having some great purpose from the Lord or that somehow God only chose a very few people to present Himself to and sometimes that may be the case. It may also be that they were the only people listening or believing that what they heard was from the Lord.

Joshua 21 Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.

It is the same as the promises that He has made to all who bear the name of Christ.

Matthew 7 Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who as Him.

I Chronicles 28 Know the God of your father and serve Him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek Him, He will be found by you.

So, for me, this is the absolute truth and something that is essential....The Lord is found by us when we seek Him. And we are worth speaking to. We are not going to be authors of Scripture or build Solomon's Temple or lead the children of Israel out of Egypt but there is work for us to do. Important work. Work that will not be done if we do not accomplish it. The only way to find out if God will do extraordinary things with us it to be willing to be extraordinary for Him.

I will refuse to believe in the lie that God no longer speaks or performs miracles. I refuse to put Him into a box or try to contain Him. I will search the Scriptures and seek for Him there and when He speaks I will follow. I will not listen to self or to the world or to "reason". I will learn to recognize His voice have the attitude of His mother.

John 1 His mother said to the servants, Do whatever He tells you.

The Knapsack

Luke 22 And He said to them, When I sent you out with no moneybag or knapsack or sandals, did you lack anything? They said, Nothing. He said to them, But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack.

One of my favorite truths from the Lord is this...Whatever He is calling you to do or to be, you are adequate. You are enough. For the things that He calls us to He equips us for.

This afternoon I spent some time putting away the outdoor summer furniture and getting things ready for the winter and while I was in the basement I found a large, old leather knapsack. I was so excited and a little surprised because I have never seen it before. I'm sure that Ken sneaked it in from some garage sale or thrift store and had no idea that I would want it but once I checked it for spiders and found that every zipper and clasp was in working order I took it upstairs and filled it with my writing supplies, favorite books, attached my water bottle to the outside and put my passport inside. It is my new blogging knapsack :) Sweet.

Looking at it now I wonder....If I had to put everything that was essential for a trip in this backpack would it be possible? What if it was an overnight trip? What if it was a long weekend trip? Well next week Ken and I leave for an overnight trip to Charlotte and I plan to pack only this knapsack. I want to see what is really essential for me to have to make it through a couple of days.

My thought is to apply this same principle to my life, my house and my walk with the Lord. What do I know to be absolutely true and what things are essential to me? I want to learn to live with less clutter in my mind, my house and in my travels.

So for today my absolute truth will be the knowledge that anything He calls me to do He will equip me for and I will be found lacking in nothing. The clutter that I will choose to get rid of today is the lie that I am inadequate. I will choose to believe that He has made me sufficient. I will put that into the knapsack and pack it away for later for it is essential to me.

The Sifted

Luke 22 Simon, Simon, behold Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.





There is a principle in life that adversity and trials result in strength.





Sometimes I am not particularly fond of this principle. It reminds me of another one that says the more calories you eat, the more you weigh. Or you reap what you sow. I would desire to have strength without adversity. Character without trials. Integrity without testing. To reap a great harvest that I had not sown.





There are so many treasures in these verses; the fact that Jesus knows where we are and what we are facing; that He is concerned for us, prays for us, encourages us. And when we fail He uses that failure to good.





And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.





My mother and I had an interesting conversation yesterday. She is passing on to her children the responsibility of praying for our family. She is asking for a commitment to life long, earnest prayer for those we love. It is a huge commitment and one that I fear I will never accomplish to the measure that she has. It is her legacy and she is, in this respect, a giant in the faith.





She was sharing with me a burden for a distant relative who is addicted to meth; a request for recovery, sobriety and restoration. And I was thinking about the fact that a recovered meth addict can go so far in helping other people along in their own recovery. Who better to speak of the Lords faithfulness than a recovering addict.





So today the Lord speaks to my own heart....





I would not have had you suffer the things that you have endured in this life. It was not my plan for you from the beginning. But it is My plan to take those experiences and use them to strengthen others.





Sharing my life, my failures, my sins and those sins committed against me in this blog brings on a flood of different emotions for me. Sometimes I feel joy or relief. Sometimes I am angry or feel foolish. But the greatest gift is that it is bringing me to a place of peace within myself, with those who have hurt me and with God. My prayer is that it will strengthen you.





Like Simon Peter I have found that the Lord sees us perfectly. Our flaws. Our past. Our future. Our sin. He loves us and prays for us and is not disappointed in us. He takes the entirety of our lives and uses it for His good in the lives of our brothers and sisters.

Luke 22 Peter said to Him, Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death. Jesus said, I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.

Father it is my desire to be transparent before You. I have grown weary of the need to try to make myself look good before You and other people. We are not good, aside from Your Spirit. We are born with a sin nature and fight against it for all of our lives. So take this life Lord, the good, bad and the ugly and let it tell a story of Your redemptive love. Let others see Your design and Your handiwork Father, Your ability to take all of it and mold it into something useful, something beautiful, something strong. May we bear fruit and strengthen our brothers and may You be pleased and glorified in our lives.

The Ties

Daniel 3 And he (Nebuchadnezzar) ordered some of the mighty men of his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace. These men were bound in their cloaks, their tunics, their hats, and other garments, and they were thrown into the burning fiery furnace...But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.

So the short lesson is that we gain Christ and lose the ties that bind us. A pretty good trade, right? But it must have seemed like a difficult route for the three Hebrew slaves who, unlike us, did not know the end of the story. They stood, bound up in everything they owned before a real fiery furnace, facing death and not knowing what the outcome would be.

This is the most difficult entry I have ever made. It is also one of the greatest insights into my own heart that I have experienced. It was a struggle to understand what the Spirit was saying because He was trying to accomplish work in me and he was being hindered from mighty men from without and from an unwillingness from within on the part of this writer. I did not wish to go where He was leading.

One of the wonderful traits of the Helper, the Holy Spirit, is to lead us into freedom from whatever has us bound. Sometimes we are so comfortable in our bondage and we have lived that way for so long that it is just easier to remain there. But just as the caterpillar struggles out of his cocoon it is that struggle to be free that gives us the strength to fly.

As I look back on my own journey to freedom I can see so many different types of circumstances that He has used along the way. For instance, leading me to go to nursing school not only offered me a way out of poverty it opened the door to ministry. When the Lord required that smoking be put away He was leading me to freedom from addiction and a habit that had long shamed me. When He asked for the sacrifice of my hair He was teaching me about freedom from popular opinion, humility and finding beauty in myself that I did not know was there. He is freeing me from all types of bondage and it has taken many forms.

An ongoing struggle for me has been my "stuff"; my treasures. I have realized that it is not the amount of material things or their value that causes them to become treasures or idols in my life. I have also learned that it is not the items themselves that have me bound. Rather it is my need for them. They comfort me by reminding me that I am not poor anymore. I am not homeless anymore. But He would chose to free me from the anxiety that they cause me when I think about losing them or being away from them. What if they get broken or stolen? He seeks to free me from the weight of their burden.

And this is where it became so difficult. I became very anxious, nervous and began to struggle in my spirit. And He begins to speak....

There is something that you are not being honest about, Connie.

After many attempts to write and rewrite I go outside to work in my yard. I am angry because I cannot hear Him, cannot understand Him. What, Lord?

And the Helper comes to lead me to freedom.

This time of a memory that has me bound in guilt. A time when I chose treasures on earth over something much more important. And now I do not not want to hear Him. I do not want to speak, or write or even acknowledge it. But we have walked together long enough for me to know that this is the way to freedom, for me. And at the end of the day I know that it is the only way to peace. Sometimes the only way to be freed from what binds us is a walk through the fire.

On my last trip to Israel I really struggled with a variety of things but one thing in particular was being homesick. Almost from the moment I got there. I missed my husband, my family and friends. I missed my own bed and my "stuff". It was a very difficult trip for me internally. I can see now that it was a test. And in the end I cut my trip short and came home early.

Not long after that one of the children who was there during my stay became very ill while at the house. As he was being taken to the hospital by the staff he stopped breathing and despite everything that could be done once he reached the hospital he died. And since that time I have questioned myself that if I had stayed, if I had been there, would it have made a difference? Would it have made a difference to have a nurse in that car; a nurse who had just recently completed a course in advanced cardiopulmonary life support? I was the only person staying at the house with a medical background. And because I was lonely for my family and my bed and my house I did not fulfill my purpose for the Lord.

So I ask the Lord the question that I have avoided since that trip. Would it have made a difference?

His answer.....It would have made a difference to you, Connie.

Life and death is in the hand of the Lord, I know that. I also know that we are put in places for a purpose. Called of God to serve in specific areas at specific times for specific reasons. It might not have made a difference in whether that child lived or died. But it would have made a difference in me. If I had been there.

Our lives matter. Our decision matter. Fulfilling our purpose in Christ matters. It is too important to neglect. The price is too high for us to fail. Or quit.

Father, while I have the courage to say it, do the work in me that is necessary for me to fulfil your purpose in me. Against you, you only have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight. My sin is always before me. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation. I will speak of Your goodness, mercy, kindness and patience toward us to any who cares to listen. The road to freedom is a hard one. It is the only way to peace. It is the way to fruitfulness in our lives. Give us the courage to be honest and transparent before You Lord.