The Aging

Life is like a short breath or a bird in it's flight.

Soon it passes away and is gone from our sight.

Like a vapor it is in the Bible we're told...

From the recesses of my mind this song comes.

On my recent trip home I found myself looking around at my family in surprise. Here I sit with my granddaughter in my arms, my children grown and married, my sisters with their grandchildren in their laps, nephew and nieces and my own mother and Aunt Jean beautiful in their latter years. Where does it go?

This is the sweetest time of my life. Everyone together and healthy. But what of the others? Are they longing for younger years or struggling to learn to walk? Are they looking toward their futures or remembering their pasts?

Life is quick. Fleeting.

Watching the news this year I have often wondered if our planet is aging quickly herself. Was it, like us, born with a time line? Was is young once and energetic, learning to walk and run and function beautifully?

She seems to suffer at the moment. Overpopulation. Flood. Earthquake. Tsunami. Extreme heat and cold. Deforestation. Disease. We hear almost daily of natural disasters in various countries, including our own, holes in the ozone and melting polar ice caps. She seems to be attacked from without and within.

Maybe it has always been this way. Maybe. Maybe not.

It makes sense to me that as we all are born, grow up and fade away that so does everything else. Including our planet.

If so, then what? What is next?

On Friday I talked with one of my patients for a while. He is a gruff old cuss who is slowly succumbing to his disease. I have know him for six months and we usually talk about the weather or his disease or my traveling or his memories of being in the service during war. But on Friday he leaned over to me and said in a whisper that he had died at Christmas. He said his heart stopped three different time before he could be stabilized. When I said I was sorry he said don't be.

He said it was beautiful. Green hills, warm sunshine. A feeling of freedom and peace and exploding joy. He saw his wife and his twin boys that were lost years before. He talked with his old vet buddies before coming back to what he calls hell. He says hell for him is this life and this old and cancerous body. Someday, he says, he will go to heaven and not ever come back.

Life is like a short breath....

Like a vapor it is....

Being an oncology nurse has taught me to live while I'm living.

Being a follower of Christ compels me to ask you the question, Where will go when it's over?

Father for those suffering in this world in the wake of this latest disaster, be near.

The Portion

Sometimes I find myself becoming negative in my thinking and in the words that I speak and I realize that these things flow from bitterness in my heart. So when I need a change of perspective I find myself here, in Psalm 73 and it brings me back to a proper perspective with just the first four words.

Truly God is good.

Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

For they have no pangs until death: their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind. Therefore pride is their necklace; violence covers them as a garment. Their eyes swell out through fatness; their hearts overflow with follies. They scoff and speak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression. They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue struts through the earth. Therefore His people turn back to them, and find no fault in them. And they say, "How can God know? Is there knowledge in the Most High?" Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches.

All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence. For all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning.

If I had said, "I will speak thus,".....I would have betrayed the generation of your children.

But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task....

until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I discerned their end.

Like a dream when one awakens.

When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward You.

Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You will receive me to glory!!!!!!!

Oh whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.

Sometimes nothing more needs to be said.

The Birthday

Psalm 69 I will praise the name of God with a song, I will magnify Him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord more than an ox, or a bull with horns and hoofs.

I prefer to blog in a comfortable chair with a cup of hot tea in quiet space that I love. This blog is written in a coach class set. It is not really comfortable. It is noisy. It smells funny.

But today is a day of thanksgiving. It is my birthday of forty three years.

So today, to honor Him for all He has done for me, I will bless Him with the words of my mouth. Here a few of my thoughts toward Him....

I am thankful that I have a husband who adores me. Even when I don't deserve it. I am on my way home to see my family, my children. My son is home for two weeks from deployment to the Middle East and he is alive and well. My daughter is picking me up at the airport and coming home to spend the night with me. My other daughter is coming by to see me on the weekend. My family, my sisters, are coming to my mom's house where we will meet my new granddaughter, Katelyn Rae who is the loveliest and most wondrous baby ever. I will get to see my red headed, sassy Maddie girl and beautiful Amee. I found out last week that I do not have breast cancer. I am having dinner with two of my favorite people on the planet, my sisters in the Lord Kathy and Margo.

Everything in life is as it should be.

And I know where all good things come from. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Everything and everyone has been given to me from my Father. I was not always this way. There was a time when I had nothing and no one.

Then He came and made all things new. He is my restorer of the breach. My deliverer. The lifter of my head.

So to You Lord....I give it all. My husband. Our children. Our families. Our grandchildren here and to come. Our home. Our lives. Our plans. All that we have. All that we are. It all came from You. It all belongs to You. May we honor You with it all.

Thank You. For everything. For all You have done. For me.