The Spoils

John 3 For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son

We celebrated a very different Christmas Day this year. Ken and I drove north of Albuquerque to the Pueblo Indian Reservation to see my friend Sylvia dance with her tribe. Her people. Her family.

It is always moving for me to visit the Pueblo. It is an honor to be invited into their village. They are a beautiful people with strong Native American features. Proud. Friendly. Artistic. Dedicated to family.

There is also a sadness in me when I am there. What would their lives have been like if they had not been conquered by invaders of their homeland? What would this land look like if they were still the only ones here? I guess, as with everything else, there is good and bad in the answer. They have been introduced to modern conveniences that make life easier and more enjoyable and they also suffer modern casualties of war.

The phrase, To the victors go the spoils, comes to mind.

The contrast between man and God is astonishingly apparent to me in this circumstance.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son.

We were conquered by love. Moved by His compassion. Brought to repentance by His mercy. He has loved us into relationship. Not by the force of His will, as is His right since He is our King, our creator, but by the giving of Himself He has won us. And in conquering our hearts He has given us His best. The best of life, the best of the life to come.

He did not come to us as a ravenous wolf seeking only to take what He could and leave us devastated. He came as vulnerability. In the form of a child. Naked. Without an army. Without guns or spear. He came without threat. To His own.

I wonder also what we would have looked like if He had left us to ourselves? What would our homes look like? What would our families look like if He had not chosen to ravish us with His love?

Psalm 100 Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into His presence with singing! Know that the Lord, He is God! It is He who made us, and we are His, we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise! Give thanks to Him; bless His name! For the Lord is GOOD; His steadfast LOVE endures forever, and His FAITHFULNESS to all generations.

Father bless those who have been conquered and be gracious to them. Help us to love our neighbors as You love us. With generosity, hospitality, graciousness, fairness and dignity. Thank You Father, as always, for setting the good example.

The Becoming

II Corinthians 3 Now if the ministry of death, carved in letters on stone, came with such glory that the Israelites could not gaze at Moses' face because of its glory, which was being brought to an end, will not the ministry of the Spirit have even more glory?

Today I am sitting in front of a different fireplace, in a different city, with a different view. A new adventure. Out apartment windows face the beautiful Sandia mountains. The sun is rising beyond them, the city laid out before them and balloons rising in the foreground. It takes your breath.

My Father does all things well. This world is a beautiful place; full of the glory of His handiwork.

We are back in New Mexico at the Cancer Center. It feels like coming home. I have worked with cancer patients in Tennessee, Colorado, California, Georgia, Alabama and New Mexico and have found in them all a common thread. They are people of right priorities.

They are strong beyond what they would have thought themselves capable. They are heroes of hope. Warriors. Valiant. They are glorious. And they don't even realize it.

Something wonderful happens to a person that is faced with their own mortality. Terrible, yes, but marvelous. After the anger. After the sadness. After the denial...acceptance. They become. Strong.

On their faces and in their hearts shine the light of truth. They embrace the things that last. Family. Friends. Love. Honesty. Eternity.

And when they are filled with the Holy Spirit, they shine. From their eyes. From their faces. From their hearts. Even when they are dying they have never been more alive. They are becoming. Glorious.

For if what was being brought to an end came with glory, much more will what is permanent have glory....Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is Spirit.

Father I love You and I am grateful for the life that You have given me, for the career that You have given me and for allowing me to be a small part of the lives of Your people. Give them the grace that they need to face the things that are coming. And when this life is over give them the grace to die with dignity and fall safely into Your arms. Strong. Beautiful. Shining in the light of Your love and mercy. Becoming like You.

The Return

Psalm 52 But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steafast love of God forever and ever. I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for Your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.

Well, I am home safe and sound.

I left Jerusalem on Saturday night with Donna Jo and Mary for Ben Gurion at 6:30 pm. My friend, Daoud, the prophet from the Mount of Olives, had assured me that the Lord Jesus said, No one would question me in security. And that was true. It was a breeze, especially considering the fact that last year I was held for hours, thought I would be arrested and escorted by armed security to the gate :)

I guess I should have asked Daoud if the Lord Jesus had anything else to say.

I missed the 11:05 pm flight direct to Atlanta after 5 hours of waiting. Rushed to the ticket counter and back to wait in line for the 12:00 midnight flight to JFK and thank goodness made that flight.

And that leg of the trip was wonderful. I sat in first class next to one of the most interesting ladies that I have ever met. Leah is a Jew who left Poland in the 1930's just prior to the war for Paris where she became a famous salon owner before coming to Tel Aviv to live for a few years. After leaving Tel Aviv she moved to New York and has lived in Manhattan for many years now. She was in Israel to celebrate her 90th birthday and attend a wedding where she sat a table with many famous people including Shimon Perez! Leah was a lovely traveling companion and we talked for hours about her life, her loves and her book. She was up at 4 a.m. and putting on her make up and earrings. She tells me that she has been a city girl for 90 years and that city girls put on their lipstick before they turn on the lights in the morning :)

That was where the easy ended. I arrived in New York at 5 am and walked about 2 miles only to find myself in the wrong terminal. The terminal I need was at the other end, through an outside walkway in the freezing rain. Finally made it to my terminal to catch an 8:15 am flight which I missed. So, I got in line behind 100 other people at the Delta counter to rebook and thank goodness I had the forethought to try for an airport anywhere in the south because all the eastern flights were being cancelled and those people were flown to Delta's hub which is in Atlanta. So I booked a flight to Raleigh-Durham North Carolina and got on the last available seat before everything started cancelling. We were delayed for one hour after being seated on the plane and then asked to deboard back into the gate. After about an hour we were put back on the plane and that time made it as far as the runway when we had an hour and fifteen minute delay. Finally three hours past flight time we taxied and took off into one of the scarriest flights of my life. Freezing fog, 35 mph cross winds and darkness. I have never been so glad to land in Atlanta.

Oh did I mention they lost my luggage? hahahah

But miraculously when I got to Atlanta, so did my luggage.

And then this morning....I fell. On the tile. And all my joints are hurting and bruised. I fell hard.

So, what can I say?

Psalm 50 Offer to God a sacrifice of Thanksgiving and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will delver you, and you shall glorify Me.

I had the most wonderful trip of my life. I did everything I had ever hoped to do at Shevet Achim. I received blessing upon blessing upon blessing.

So, Satan....bring it! You have nothing against the power of my God. And nothing can take away my happiness today.

Father, You are wonderful beyond all measure. As I sit at my desk, pack for my Christmas trip to the mountains with my family, and prepare to head out on another travel nurse assignment I just want to thank You for all the good things in my life. You are my good and I adore You.

The Majestic

Psalm 8 O Lord, our God, how majestic is Your name in all the earth! You have set Your glory above the heavens. Out of the mouth of babes and infants You have established strength because of Your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger. When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of Him and ths son of man that you care for him?

Father I thank You for the trip that You have just walked me through and for being able to see Your handiword in my life. Who am I that You are mindful of me and how is it that You have come to care for me?

Yesterday we went to Wolfson to visit the mothers and children from Gaza. This was great because I never get to meet them. They usually come directly from Gaza and straight to the hospital and they stay there until they return to Gaza. Such tiny little children and when I look at them I think about how small their little hearts must be and how tedious to work on such little bodies.

We picked up some stuffed sandwiches, pizza and cold Coca-Cola and headed for a guided tour, by our driver, of Tel Aviv. It was a beautiful drive and since it was a very windy day there were lots of wind surfers, gliders and kites on the beach.

AND THEN......we went to the airport to pick up my friend and sister in the Lord, Alyssa. She and I sat in the front so she could get a good view of her FIRST drive from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. This was a night of firsts for her.

I love firsts!!!!!!

When we arrived at the house Shabbat was just beginning and Alyssa got the honor of lighting her first Shabbat candles and saying her first Shabbat blessing. She was wrapped in a beautiful silk head scarf and with her dark hair and big brown eyes she looked just like I imagined that Mary, the mother of Jesus would have looked. And then we DANCED for the Lord, thanking him for Shabbat rest, the wine and the bread and for loving us.

My friend, Daoud, the prophet, and Khaled came by for dinner and so Alyssa had another first. Listening to the stories of Muslim background believers and the difficulties that they face. I told her some of the suffering of Daoud, how he had been beated at the Dome of the Rock for his faith in the Lord Jesus. Dinner was lovely and afterward we watched, Silent Night.

Hastaiyr was admitted to the hospital last night as well for fever and possible tonsillitis. Father please heal him and let this not cause a delay in his returning to his beloved Kurdistan.

So, as the sun rises on my last day here, for now, it is Sabbath and I AM GRATEFUL. Grateful for this house, for this ministry, for my family here, for the Lord's work that is done here, for all my firsts, for the children and mom's. I know that when I am old, God willing, and I reflect back on my life that I will remember this trip and smile. It has been an adventure and a pure delight. To Jonathan, Justina, Donna Jo, Donna P, Michelle, Mary, Jenn, Ryan, Brian, Lila, Suhail, Lina, Mauna, Gaddy, Youseff, Alyssa, Sonia, Rafi, Fita and their family, Alvin and Sherry, Gunter and Hepzhibah, Vincent, Daoud, Khaled, Zach, Samir and all the rest who touched my heart and my life by being lights in the kingdom of their Father and King....thank you, thank you, thank you. And to my King....You are everything to me and I adore You.

The Party

I Corinthians 15 Behold, I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall ALL be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on imortality.

Death is swallowed up in victory!

O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?

Today I walked to Christ Church, in the Old City, to meet my friend and brother, Daoud, the prophet from the Mount of Olives. We met there for prayer and to hear from our Father and to say goodbye. For now.

After dinner tonight we went upstairs for a going away party for beautiful Harseen, Um Harseen and me. It was very bittersweet. I love Um Harseen. She is a wonderful mother. She is also quite beautiful. I think we would become great friends. And Harseen, well Harseen is a doll.

Something Jonathan said during the party is lingering in my mind. He said that maybe I would return here soon and maybe we would go to Kurdistan to visit Harseen's family but that this would be the last time, on this earth, that we would all be together.

And for a moment I thought I might burst into tears.

It really resonated with me. We get one chance to make a difference.

I really love these beautiful people. And if I never see them again on this earth it will be very sad for me. But it would be devastating to spend eternity without them.

It is time to wake up.

Arise, O sleeper, and arise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you.

It is hard to say goodbye. Tomorrow Jonathan, Laura, Harseen and her mother will leave and I will not see them again. For a while.

There will be a noticeable gap where their smiles should be.

Father, as my time here draws to a close, I want to thank You. For all You have given me on this trip. How can I express my gratitude for the complete joy I have found in this journey. It has been more than I ever expected. More than I dreamed. More than I could have imagined. More than I deserve. Just like You, Father. Lord Jesus, would You watch over those here that my heart loves? Would you bless them and bring them safely into Your kingdom? For I cannot bear the thought of missing a moment of eternity without their being there. Thank you Father that there is a day coming when we will no longer have to say goodbye to those closest to our hearts and Yours.

The Motive

I Corinthians 12, 13 And I will show you a still more excellent way. (And here are penned some of the most beatutiful words in Scripture)

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy going or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

This chapter is often referred to as the "Love Chapter" and indeed the word, love, is mentioned nine time in this chapter alone. But for me, for today, it speaks to me of motive. The intent behind love. An agenda.

So He speaks to my heart today, What is your motive Connie?

Do you desire the gifts of My Holy Spirit; and for what pupose?

Are you seeking a greater truth; and to what end?

Is there an agenda behind the services you offer to ME?

Love is a word that is tossed about a lot. I LOVE this....I LOVE him....I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

But I find that what we really love most often are the things we love for ourselves.

Are the things that I love an expression of my Fathers will and do they mirror the loves of His heart?

Love is patient.

Love is kind.

It does not envy or boast.

It is no arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way.

It is not irritable or resentful.

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing.

It rejoices in the truth.

Love bears all things.

Love believes all things.

Love hopes all things.

Love endures all things.

And do we love anything like this?

Hebrews 4 For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joint and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from His sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

Father show us Your heart in this. I pray that in everything I say and do that there would be a geniune motivation of Your perfect love that is woven into it. I am sure that this will not always be the case. I struggle with selfishness and a need to be heard and to be right. I am not always patient and kind, sometimes I am arrogant or rude. But I love You Lord and I want to love what You love. I want to desire the things that You desire. I want to mirror Your heart and reflect Your perfect intent. I want my only motive to be to please You.

The Finish

Lamentations 3 But this I call to mind, and therfore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end: they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.

Have you ever had a day when you knew you were seeing the fulfillment of a prophecy or that you were seeing the completion of a promise from the Lord?

Today is that day for me. I am teaching first aid and CPR to the staff at Shevet Achim.

Many years ago, before going to college and then to nursing school, the Lord promised me this day. I became a nurse, in part, to serve here. I didn't know where or when at the time but the Lord spoke very clearly to me about nursing school, travel nursing and serving in that capacity, in this city.

Can you believe this?

It is nothing that is special in me, it is not about me. It is about having a God who is faithful to keep His promises. It is one of the foundation stones of my faith. For how can I ever walk this life without knowing that He is faithful and trustworthy? I cannot trust in myself. I cannot trust completely in anyone other than Him. He is the rock that holds me steady.

Only God can take a life that is useless and make it useful. Only God can promise great and mighty things to ordinary people and then equip them to see them through. He alone is the source of strength.

It has been a long walk, this new life with the Lord. Hindered oftentimes by my willfullness and refusal to walk the path that He has chosen. But even during the times that I struggle against His will I find Him completely faithful to what He has promised. I have learned hard lessons about refusing to walk in His ways. I hope I have learned those lessons well.

Today is a day of hope for me. I believe that when this trip is finished I will hear Him say, Well done. It is my highest hope and there is no conceit in this for many times I know that I have failed. But at the end of the day, at the end of this trip, at the end of this life what I want most of all is to do the things that please Him. For all He has done for me. It is the least that I can do.

Father You are, as always, such an unexpected gift of surprise. That You found me and loved me and saved me still amazes me. I want You to know that I know Who has brought me to this place, Who has sustained me and Who will bring me safely into the kingdom when this life is over. I love You Lord, so much. Be pleased in me, Father.

The Gravecloths

John 11 And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I know that You always hear Me, but I said this on the account of the people standing around, that they may believe that You sent Me. When He had said these things He cried out with a loud voice, Lazarus, come out. The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, Unbind him, and let him go.

Wow, right? Who has ever seen such a thing? Who can imagine it?

I believe that this is a literal story. A true story. But it has tremendous metaphortical value. It reminds me, of me.

I was dead. Spiritually. Emotionally. Financially. And all but dead physically.

I was in darkness as thick as the tomb. I was trapped as if by a great stone. I was bound by sin hand and foot. I was blind to the truth as if covered by a shroud. Bound, in darkness, alone.

And Jesus Christ became my good.

Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. I know that You always hear Me.

Let Us save Connie, Father. From death. From hell. From herself. Let Us rescue her and forgive her and fill her with Ourselves so that when others see the miraculous change in her that they will glorify her Father in heaven. Let Us perform a miracle in her life and raise her from the dead. Let Us make her life beautiful. And when this life is over let Us bring her safely into Our kingdom. Let's unbind her and let her go.

For who but Us could save this life?

I Corinthians 15 Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?

Jude Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

Amen.

The Everlasting

John 11 Whoever believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?

Do you believe this?

This morning when I opened my Bible I just "happened" to be where I left off yesterday and found myself at the story of Lazarus. What a wonderful Savior. He meets me every morning just where I need Him. I needed to hear what Jesus had to say about death this morning.

After saying goodbye to Bechel, Nawfal and Mariwan we headed out in two vehicles for Wolfson. Four children got good echo reports today and then, hallelujah, we headed for the sea.

We went to the old port city of Yafo and it was absolutely beautiful. The clouds cleared and the rain stopped and it was lovely. We parked and walked along the boardwalk down to the port where every morning fresh fish are brought from the sea and sold. It is one of the oldest cities in Israel. The surf was up and there were several people surfing the waves. It was fabulous.

On the way home, in the traffic and misting rain, with the children chatting and sleeping in the back of the van, I find myself in a place of peace.

I don't feel the same as I did the first time I came to this place. I am not on a mission to find God or have some kind of deep religous "experience". I do not feel that being here gives me some special "vision". I just feel a need here and I can, in some way, aleviate that need. I think my Father has brought me here for His purpose. I would love a revelation, a vision, a deep awakening in my soul but that is not why I am here. I don't "need" to be here. I just want to.

Father, I love You. Everything about You. I find You enchanting. I just want to walk with You and love You and be near You. And if You choose to reveal Yourself to me in a miraculous way then I will be happy. But for today I am at peace just being in Your presence and feeling a sense of belonging in Your city and with Your people.

The Hope

Job 13 Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.

Today was my day to take care of the children so that Laura could take her first trip to Gaza. We had a great morning beginning with a time of worship and singing with Ryan on the guitar. After breakfast Mary and I went up to play with the kids. We colored, played with balloons, brushed teeth, made animals out of play-dough and broke up a fight:) Just a small fight between small boys.

But as I was coming down to put supplies away I noticed immediately how quiet everyone was and I have seen this enough in my work to know that something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. Baran has died.

Gaddy, Mauna, Donna Jo, Ryan and I went to Sheba to pick up Bechel, Nawful and Mariwan and bring them back to Jerusalem with us and make arrangements for Baran to be transported back to Kurdistan.

Job 14 Man who is born of a woman is few of days and full of trouble. He comes out like a flower and withers; he flees like a shadow and continues not.

I continue to be impressed with this young family. They expressed their gratitude to all of us and also for the fact that they did not have to choose to remove the life support system. They saw this as merciful. And mercy is what we have prayed for. We also prayed for healing and we recognize that healing comes in many forms. Baran is completely healed and in perfect peace.

How is it that a parent copes with the loss of a child? It is unbearable I think; a wound that never completely heals. And it is at this point that I am so grateful for the hope I have in Christ Jesus, my Lord.

I Corinthians 15 If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.

So how do we express this hope to those who feel hopeless and in the middle of the worst day of their lives? Well, for us right now, we are offering a hot bowl of soup, a clean bed, a hot shower, tears with the crying and prayers that our Father would reveal Himself to this young family.

Father, we are inadequate for these things. Not much helps in the way of human comfort at this time. They are bereft. Lord would you show us how? Would you come to Bechel and Nawful and be to them a God who can be felt? Who can be heard? Who can be touched? Come to them Father in dreams, in visions and in these hands and feet of ours to be a comfort to them. Give them safe travel Father and smooth navigation through customs. Would You be gracious to them Lord and bless them in their marriage and in their work? Would You bless them with children Father and let them flourish in all that they do? And when this life is over, Lord, would You bring them safely into Your kingdom and reunite them with their perfectly healthy Baran? For Your Name's sake.

The Prophet

Romans 12 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable spiritual worship.

Today has been such a great day. It is Sabbath so I slept late, until eleven. During my brunch I had a conversation with Brian about the story of Jacob wrestling with the Lord. He had some very intersting thoughts on this, a different perspective. He was saying that before Jacob could be reconciled to Esau that he must first wrestle or come to terms with the Lord. He related that to modern day and suggested that before the sons of Jacob, Israel, could be reconciled with the sons of Esau, Palestine, that Israel would have to come to terms with Jesus Christ. I have thought about that a great deal today.

I also had a coming to terms with Jesus. On the night that He revealed Himself to me I had to confess my true feelings towards Him. I was angry with Him that He had allowed so much suffering in my young life. I felt He had not taken very good care of His child. It was only through this wrestling, this coming to terms and being honest with Him that I truly learned to consider Him my friend. He gave me a better understanding of Himself and He changed my perspective. I, like Jacob, was wounded by the encounter but I left it as a different person. My name also was changed. It was written in the Lambs Book of Life.

Thought provoking conversation over brunch.

Later my friend, the prophet from the Mount of Olive, Daoud came by. I love for him to visit. His kindness and humbleness and love of Jesus moves me. He is unashamed and continues to suffer for that to this day. He is persecuted until now for his faith and voice for the Lord. How is it possible for anyone to mistreat such a kind and gentle man of God?

Daoud asked me a very interesting question tonight. He asked me to read Romans 12 and said, Jesus says to you, (specifically to me) Are you ready?

He says that the Lord has shown him that I have spend much time in the last few weeks in prayer. True. That I have given my heart to Him completely. True. That I have been seeking Him. True. And that He is asking me this same question, Are you ready? True.

Daoud says the Lord has planted me here. True.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Later we had the most wonderful dinner, a luxury. French toast with syrup or honey; bananas and pomegranate with yogurt and scrambled eggs. Exquisite. For a late night snack it was mixed nuts and fruits, fresh from the Jerusalem market :)

I have a couple of things that I hope to do before leaving. One was to see the sea and I have been thinking that it's about time for me to visit the garden tomb. I have been to Israel four times and have never been to the tomb. This afternoon when we got our weekly work scedules I am to visit the sea in Tel Aviv on Monday and go with the moms and children to the garden tomb on Wednesday. How great is our God?

Father You have given me blessing upon blessing this trip and I am overwhelmed with the generosity and hospitality that has been shown to me here. I cannot thank You enough. I love You Lord and I am grateful, so grateful for Your love toward me. I don't know what the future will bring but I will trust You to show me daily what Your will is. I am ready Lord. Plant me wherever You choose and bring me safely to Your kingdom.

Song of Songs Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

The Feast

John 7 On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. Now this He said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were to receive, for as yet the Spirit had not been given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

As I am reading this the Helper leads me to truth about some of the wonderful people that I have encountered on this trip and some of the amazing conversations that have flowed out of those meetings.

It is not the people themselves who are so wonderful as it is the fact that I am encountering the Holy Spirit within them. And the conversations that have touched me to my very core have indeed been conversations with my Lord.

And if you can sit for a moment and allow Him to let that thought settle in your mind it might change your life.

Every day since my arrival here I have had a divine appointment. I believe that the Lord came before me and arranged these meetings and I feel He must take delight in His work for I have never had such an experience as I have enjoyed in my time here. It is important that when I see this design in my life that I recognize from where it comes because there are lessons to be learned here.

I needed a Savior desperately. I needed the anointing of His Holy Spirit desperately but that is not the end of my need. I need to be with other beleivers who are walking in that Spirit because it brings me to a place of miraculous worship and I want you, if you are reading this, to GET that. Father help me here....The end result of these wonderful encounters is that I find myself worshipping my Lord!!! When I am with Daoud, Zack, Rafi and Fita, Hephzibah and Gunter, Alvin and Sherry, Samir or my precious friends in this house I find that my heart is in a state of worship to Him.

I need that. It is like a drug to me and I want to be an addict.

Jesus cried out, If anyone thiersts, let him come to me and drink....Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.

Father I find You, as always, amazing. How is it that I can be thirsty and satisfied at the same time? How is it that I can be in conversation with another and worshipping You in my heart? I love the way that Your Spirit flows in and out of our conservations weaving us together like needle and thread. Father would You continue this work for all of my life? I have never felt such joy and contentment as when I see You in another. It is like a child, being rocked, looking into the face of their mother and being satisfied. Thank You for revealing Yourself to me. Thank You for revealing Your work in my life to me. Thank You for preparing the way for me while I am here. I love you Father.

The Shalom

John 14 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem :)

This morning we welcomed another new face, Brian, who is from Wales, and again the Lord brings another heart connection into His kingdom. During our time of worship this morning we heard a little of his story and we shared a little of ourselves with him.

And guess what????? I had my very first Hannukah donut in Jerusalem, still warm from the oven!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many little treasures from this trip. Speaking of little treasures, Laura and I went upstairs for a short visit with the kids and to take a few pictures.

The office closed at 12 noon today and I am officially off work for the Sabbath. Yea! and Hallelujah because I had awesome plans. Donna Jo, Justina and Brian were going to Bethlehem to visit friends so I hitched a ride to meet some friends also. We stopped on Manger Street :) in Bethlehem and went our separate ways and Rafi came to pick me up for an afternoon at his home. SWEET. Rafi and his family are from Bethlehem and are believers in Christ and they are the lovliest of people. When I arrived at their home a grand lunch was in the making. Whole fish grilled over a wood fire, homeade bread over the same fire, roasted potatoes, sweet potatoes, garlic and onions, fresh salad with lemon and some traditional arabic dishes. It was wonderful.

The two older children took me to see their rooms and learned how to use my camera and then we took some pictures with their new brother in his wonderful cradle that their father made before he married their mother in the hopes that they would have children together. And they do, dark brown eyed beauties.

And true to their culture hospitality rules in their house. We stayed around the table for hours having tea and then arabic coffee and chocolate. We talked about the difficulities of life here, the wall that is built between them and Jerusalem, the state of their economy and healthcare.

I find the palestinian people that I have met completely lovely in form, in family and in thought. I barely know Rafi and his family and he has offerred to let me and Ken stay in the basement apartment of their home and live and volunteer in Bethlehem. What a tremendous thought.

When I left from Rafi and Fita's house I met up with my friends in Bethlehem and was invited to meet their friends in their apartment. And if the day had not already been wonderful enough, I wish you could have seen the view from that apartment when I walked in the door. Wide windows banking the entire back of the apartment looking out over Bethlehem at dusk. And it just took my breath away. There I met Alvin and Sherry, a married couple, who have a ministry in Bethlehem. We were with them for maybe only ten minutes but it was so powerful. Not only the view but the couple. Before we left Alvin asked if he might pray with me and as he took my hand it was like electricity from his hand to mine and as he was praying he prophesied over me. Wonderul things from the Lord about what he saw when he took my hand. He said he immediately saw a needle and thread and that the Lord was weaving me and my husband into a place in His kindgom and His ministry and that within the next two years we would see great changes in our lives and we would walk through a narrow gate on a specific path chosen for us by God and surrounded by children. The Lord is doing a new thing in us.

This entire trip has been this way. Every day a new adventure, a new face, a new revelation. How can it be that you can be with a person, regardless of the amount of time, and that the Holy Spirit moves so strongly between your heart and their that you are changed?

That is miraculous. It has been like lightning in my heart, fire and smoke and thunder. That is the power of our God. He has an impact when we face him in the lives of other believers.

I want that. I don't think I can live without it anymore. I am sick of mediocrity. I want a fire, a hurricane, a flood, Lord. Oh God, drag me from this lukewarm lifestyle!! And change me, Lord and let me live a life in which others are impacted by Your Holy Spirit dwelling within me.

The Comforter

Psalm 23 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Today, after a pastry and time of worship, I headed off to Sheba Hospital for a meeting with the parents of Baran, Bechel and Nawful, and the head of the ICU. We also had the luxury of a translater, Elan, who speaks Kurdish, English, Hebrew and Arabic.

While we were waiting for the meeting and our translater to arrive I had an hour or so to just talk with Bechel and Nawful about life in general. I am amazed at how even during the most difficult time of their lives that they are so gracious. They ask about my family, my children, my job and my culture. They offer tea and lunch. And even though I am here to comfort and support them, they are concerned with my own comfort.

Nawful tells me that in his view and according to his culture that I am a friend, a family member to them and I can tell that he is sincere. He invites me to come and stay with them in Kurdistan and Bechel's face lights up as she talks about how they will take me to dinner in all of their families homes. She says that when they go to dinner that they start with water and then tea followed by chocolate and a dinner meal and dessert afterward. She says that they sit for long periods just talking and either getting to know someone or strengthening an existing friendship or family tie. They teach me about being polite, offerring the best of seats and food to the guests and bringing a gift to the host and hostess. And for a moment we are just a couple of friends having tea without a care. They have put their own fears and needs aside to be gracious to me.

And that is a trait that reminds me so much of Jesus.

It is amazing to me throughout His ministry we see Him teaching, building relationships and enjoying long dinners with friends. I think He must have been the kind of man that you would just want to have around. Gracious, funny, sympathetic and trustworthy. And all of this time He can see the cross looming in His very near future. Somehow He was able to put that aside and do the work that He had come to accomplish.

Father, I thank You for opportunities to meet people like Bechel and Nawful. I hope to see them some day in Kurdistan with their son and meet their families and have long dinners just getting to know each other. Father would You heal Baran and give back to his parents their joy?

The Hinderance

Galations 5 You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? This persuations is not from Him who calls you.

King of kings and Lord of Lords glory hallelujah

King of kings and Lord of Lords glory hallelujah

Jesus Prince of peace glory hallelujah

Jesus Prince of peace glory hallelujah

Yasu'u Malkul muluk

Majdan halleluya

Yasu'u Rrabbul arbab

Majdan halleluya

Ra'isu ssalam

Majdan halleluya

Ra'isu ssalam

Majdan halleluya

Melekh hamlakhim, Yeshua

Halleh halleluya

Melekh hamlakhim, Yeshua

Halleh halleluya

Yeshua' Sar shalom

Helleh halleluya

Yeshua' Sar shalom

Halleh halleluya

This is my favorite worship song that we sing in the house. It is in a beautiful key, it is lively and it allows everyone here to sing in their own language.

I was a little distracted yesterday. My time here is so short and there are many things that I hope to accomplish. I started thinking about getting a seat on the plane home, having Christmas with my family and then driving to Albuquerque to be ready to work on the twenty first. Today is the first:)

So as I was worrying about this the Helper reminded me of these verses...

You were running well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth? This persuasion is not form him who calls you.....For you were called to freedom, brothers.

This is another lesson for me in trusting in God for my daily bread. I cannot live in the guilt of my past or in the anxiety of my future. I know that I have work to do here today and that is enough for me. Living in the moment is the place that I find peace.

This morning I woke with perfect peace in these matters. All I really need is to follow Him day by day. If it is His will to send me to Albuquerque or home or here all I need to do is to listen to His voice and be obedient. He will take care of all my needs.

I am finding that by inviting the Holy Spirit to assume His rightful place as Lord in my life that He is quick to help me, to comfort me, to teach me. He never shames me; He brings to mind the Scripture to lead me into truth, to help me find rest, to free up areas in my life where I am still in bondage.

For you were called to freedom, brothers.

My prayer for you today is that you would find a quiet place to sit before the Lord and ask the right question, Father is there any wickedness in me; is there sin between my heart and your; is there any area of bondage in my life that You would choose to free me from?

As you pray this I believe that the Helper will bring these things to mind and that He will lead you into truth. It is His good pleasure to lead you to freedom in Christ.

King of kings and Lord of lords glory hallelujah!!

King of kings and Lord of lords glory halleujah!!

Jesus Prince of peace glory hallelujah

Jesus Prince of peace glory hallelujah