The Willing

And behold, a leper came to Him and knelt before Him, saying, Lord; if You will, You can make me clean.

And Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, saying, I will; be clean.

So today some thought on willingness.  I wonder....If we knew God's will for our lives would we be willing to walk in it?  If He revealed to us the person that He had chosen for us to marry; or if He chose our vocation, our lifestyle and the region in which He desired for us to live would we choose His pathway with gladness?

Lord, if You will, You can make me clean....

I find that in my own life I want the gifts of God sometimes more that I want the will of God.  I, too, want to be healed and made clean.  I pray for protection, for provision, for wisdom and health and on and on but do I want Him or just what He has to offer me?  Am I willing to seek Him and His will or continue to insist of having my own way?

Throughout Scripture I find a willingness in Christ to do whatever was asked of Him.  Feed the hungry.  Heal the sick.  Comfort the broken.  Forgive the lost.  Teach the seekers.  He gave everything to fulfill His Father's purpose and to see His kingdom come.

Even when facing the cross He was willing.

Matthew 26   He (Jesus) fell on His face and prayed, saying, My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.

I want to ask some questions when I get to heaven and maybe the first one would be to Jesus.  Something like this, How way it decided that You would die for us?

Seeing His ministry and reading this story it would not surprise me if He volunteered.

Lord, if You will, You can make me clean.  And Jesus stretched out His hand and touched Him, saying, I will.

For my soul He was willing.  What will be my response to Him?

Father, I love You.  Not just Your gifts or Your favor.  I love You.  Give me courage Lord to follow hard after You and to seek Your will for my life and to find my Yes, my willingness, in You.

The Centurion

Matthew 8   When He (Jesus) entered Capernaum, a centurion came forward to Him, appealing to Him, Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering terribly.  And He said to him, I will come and heal him.  But the centurion replied, Lord, I am not worthy to have You come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed.  For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me.  And I say to one, Go, and he goes, and to another, Come, and he comes, and to my servant, Do this, and he does it.  When Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who followed Him, Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith.

As I was reading this story I thought, Wow.  I would have loved to have been a witness to this.  To have faith to ask for a miracle to see my request come to life would be fantastic.  What an awesome miracle.

And immediately the Helper says, Did you not pray for your son to be delivered safely home from deployment?  And is he not at this moment with his wife and daughter in Kansas?

Psalm 9   I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of Your wonderful deeds.  I will be glad and exalt in You; I will sing praise to Your Name, O Most High....Those who know Your Name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

As you read this guard your heart from cynicism.  Thoughts will creep in that say, Now that was not a miracle or an answer to prayer.  That was just a coincidence or fate or luck.  Plenty of soldiers came home without the prayers of their families and soldiers die despite prayers for their safety.

I will not try to convince you either way.  What I will tell you is how it plays out in my heart.

I cannot always trust the thoughts in my heart and mind.  We all struggle with thoughts of negativity and broken ways of thinking.  We all carry baggage and past hurts and doubts in ourselves and in God.  So how to we discern between conscious thoughts and the voice of our Lord?

I have become familiar to the voice of God in the same way that I recognize the voice of my mother, my sisters or my children over the phone.  His is the voice of simple truth.  Love, hope, faith, courage and the proof of His existence are in His voice.  Even when He is teaching me or correcting my steps there is no condemnation.  Only truth in love.  Negativity does not come from God.  Thoughts of doubt, fear, inadequacy or self depreciation do not come from God.  

I will choose to believe in God's truth and in His provision and I will leave my mind open to believe in miracles.  I will choose to have faith in Him, faith like a centurion.

Psalm 121   I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and  earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.  The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day, not the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

Father thank You for bringing Jodie back to his family.  Thank You for all who give of themselves in honor and duty to country and family.  Bless them and keep them safe in Your care.

Jodie if you read this, call your mama :)

The Delight

Joshua 24    I gave you a land on which you had not labored and cities that you had not built, and you dwell in them.  You eat the fruit of vineyards and olive orchards that you did not plant.  Now therefore fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and in faithfulness...And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

This morning I stood in Church with our girls and son-in-laws knowing that my son is finally back in the States and getting to know his daughter in Kansas and I am filled with a joy that is barely contained.  No one deserves to be this happy.  No one who has known me from my youth would believe that this is my life.

I gave you a land on which you had not labored and cities that you had not built, and you dwell in them.  You eat the fruit of vineyards and olive orchards that you did not plant.

I have been given a life that I did not earn.  And what will be my response be to my Deliverer?  It should be no less than my life.

How can I repay You for all Your goodness toward me?  How can I thank You enough?

I will bless Your name with the words of my mouth.  I will tell of Your goodness to those willing to hear!

Psalm 18  ( Because no one knows praise better than King David)   I love You, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and I am saved...He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters, He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me...He brought me out into a broad place.  He rescued me because He delighted in me.

Because He delighted in me!!!

Is there anything in this life that can bring more comfort, more joy, more devotion than an undeserved loved from God.  He delights in me.  And for that and for all He has done I will choose this day to serve Him.  As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

Father it is still unbelievable to me what You have done with my life.  You rescued me from it all.  Abuse, addiction, poverty, ignorance and worthlessness.  You found me.  You rescued me.  You brought me to this broad place and this cherished life and for reasons that I will never understand You delighted in me.  Thank You for everything.  My life, my children, my church, the Holy Spirit and Your Word.  All that I am, all that I have and all that I desire is found in You.  For giving me cities that I did not build and vineyards that I did not plant... I am grateful.

The Warning

Matthew 2   And angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, Rise, take the Child and His mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the Child, to destroy Him.

The Scriptures say that Joseph got up while it was still night and left with his family.  What an amazing man.  Because of his faith in God and his obedience he saved his family and Jesus lived.

Wow, right?

Then Herod, when He saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under.

As far as we know the angel did not appear to any other family with a warning that would have saved their children.

This past weekend my sisters, Ken, Jaimie and I were sitting around a camp fire and the subject came up of why these things happen.  We were discussing the recent Spring tornadoes and the miraculous stories of how people were rescued.  May of them say that they were praying and believe that they are alive today because of God's grace and protection.  The question was, What about those who were not spared?  Does God have grace and favor for everyone or only for those that He chooses?

And I wish that I had an adequate answer for this question.

I am in a quiet place in my life and praise comes easily now.  Our children are married and doing so well.  My son is due home from deployment any day now.  My granddaughter is a doll baby and our parents are relatively well for their ages.  I cherish this time in my life.

But I believe that all of my past experiences have led me to this time in my life and the road that I have traveled to get to this day has been filled with times of great sadness.

What I do know is this: God is faithful.

Sorrows are a part of every life.  Tragedy and illness and death find us all.  This is a promise found in Scripture.  Life is full of joy, passion, laughter and sunshine and it is also full of trouble.  The good and the bad.

It is enough for me to know that He sees me and that He controls my life, my health, my family and the time of my death.  He holds my future in His hands and I trust Him with it all.

It is easy to question God when things, terrible things, come our way.  It is tough to praise when your heart is breaking.  It is hard to trust when things fall apart.

But when they fall apart, (and they will)  lean into Him.  Just tell Him how you feel (He knows it anyway).  Cry to Him and cling to Him and hold on to Him.

For He cares for you.

Only one Child was spared in Bethlehem.  I do not know why the other children were allowed to be murdered but I do know why One was spared.  He was the Savior of the world.

He had a later appointment with death.  A brutal, tortuous death.  He also had a life and a ministry and by Him all that will ever be saved, are saved.

Your life is not random.  Your pain does not go unnoticed.  You are not alone.  He sees you.

Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.

Philippians 4   For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Father thank You for times in life when things are good and praise is easy.  Thank You for walking with me through the valleys and times when praise was difficult.  Whatever happens in life You are good and You are sufficient.  Thank You for being a God, a Father, a Friend who draw near in times of trouble.  For those in my family who are suffering, for those reading who are suffering, for those around the planet who are suffering....be near Lord.  Be the Comforter who can be felt in the hearts of man.  Be merciful, O Lord, to us.

The Light

Ephesians 5   For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord...Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.  Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

My step daughter, Haley, sang one of my very favorite songs Sunday morning....

When I think about the Lord, how He saved me, how He raised me, how He filled me with the Holy Ghost, how He healed me to the uttermost, when I think about the Lord how He picked me up and turned me around, how He placed my feet on solid ground.  It makes me wanna shout, Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! Lord You're worthy of all the glory!  Of all the honor!  Of all the praise!.

Every time I hear this song I cry.  If I could have written a song that describes how I feel, it would have been this one.

When I think about the Lord....

Before He came I was dead on the inside.  So ravaged by life.  By secrets.  By hidden pain.

I was estranged.

And with His coming He gave a promise, the sweetest words ever spoken to me.

If you will give Me your life I will make somethings beautiful out of it.

When I think about the Lord....

Not one of His promises has failed.  He offered a new life.  Restoration of my family.  A relationship with my children.  A career in nursing.  A place in Israel.  Freedom from smoking.  A beautiful life.  The night He came I wrote down a list of His promises and not one of them has failed.

If you will give Me your life I will make something beautiful out of it.

I stood in Church on Sunday with hands held high and tears streaming down remembering where I was on that day and seeing where I am this day.  Because He loved me.

And when I think about that it is almost more than this body can contain.

When I think about the Lord, how He saved me, how He raised me, how He filled me with the Holy Ghost, how He healed me to the uttermost.  When I think about the Lord, how He picked me up and turned me around, how He placed my feet on solid ground.  It makes me wanna shout!  Hallelujah!  Thank you Jesus! Lord you're worthy! Of all the glory! And the honor! And all the praise!

Father I love You so much and I am so thankful for Your promises to me.  I am grateful that what You promise You bring to pass.  My question is, Why?   Why do You love me so much?  What do you ever see in Me?  I know, and You know that I am no good.  But please don't stop.  I cannot live and breathe without it.

Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you!!!!

The Children

Psalm 127   Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord.

Saturday night I received a text from my niece, Beth.  It is time for her daughters first hair cut and she asked me to do the honors.  I cried and so did Ken.  Maddie is the love of our heart.

Because I know how far the Lord has brought me these tender moments with my family make me so emotional.  There was a time when I wasn't worth knowing.

Leave the world better than you found it.  I am sure that you have heard this phrase.  Maddie is a perfect example of leaving the world in better shape than you found it.  All that she will ever become is a reflection of all that her family has poured into her life.  If success is a measure of our love for her then there is no end to what she will become.  She has been moulded  by us and we have been forever enriched because of her.  She is our heritage and our legacy.  A gift to us from God.

Families are a gift from God and this summer has been one of family reunions.  We have had a Bowen and a Gamble family reunion this summer.   All the things that I love and cherish are a result of their influence on my life.  My love of gardening, photography, reading and my faith in God have all been shared with me by my family.

One of my favorite memories of this summer will be singing with my sisters and my cousins this past weekend.  How could they have know that we sang my very favorite hymns.  I started out playing the piano but it was out of shape so we decided to sing without it and I am so glad.  Without the piano you could hear their harmony.  We share the same blood and we grew up together so it sounded so natural.  We are linked together by our families, by our heritage and by the Spirit of our God.  Knitted together in past and future.

These moments are only a shadow of what is to come.  There is coming a day when we will live together in a glorious land where there is no death, no sin, no separation.  In that day we will stand in the righteousness of our King and we will declare with one voice His glory!!  His majesty!!!  We will sing in perfect harmony of His great love for us and His never ending grace and favor.  He will be crowned the King of Glory and we will worship Him because He is worthy.  On that day I will stand with my family and honor the Father that brought it all into being.

And the thought of that is almost more than I can bear.

Father I can never thank You enough for the life that You have given me.  Thank You for restoring me to my family.  Thank You for my sweet mama who taught me to follow hard after You.  Thank You for all the people who poured themselves into my life.  I claim the hearts of each of them for Your kingdom Lord.  I want them all.  Let us not come to You empty handed but full with the lives of those that we love.  Let us not lose a single one.  Until that day Lord we will work to see Your kingdom come.

The Space

Ephesians 2   In Him (Christ) you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

I would like to have been a witness to Gods' creation of the world.  Can you imagine anything more wonderful?  The Scriptures teach that God created everything from empty spaces, even time was born.  By the power of the words from God's mouth all that has ever been came into being.  God spoke and it was so.  It makes me happy to see the flowers, my people, pop up out of the ground in spring and to realize that each one was hand crafted by my Father.

God revealed to us His majesty, His wisdom, His creativity in building this planet as a dwelling place for His people.  Since God never changes I imagine that this world is a mere shadow of the wonder that is waiting to be revealed in the life that follows this one.

Just as the earth was created for us to live in, our bodies were created as a dwelling place for the Spirit of our God.  Until we live with Him physically He lives with us spiritually so we will never feel alone or without His presence.

When I watch the news I realize just how far we will go to fill a void in our lives where the Spirit of God should be dwelling.  We are enslaved to every kind of evil.  We are designed to never feel truly complete until we are filled with God's Spirit.  Until that day there is a hole; something is missing from us.  And in an effort to fill that void we search for and become addicted to all that can be seen and felt and consumed.

Just as the earth would feel empty without the sound of laughter or music our lives are somewhat empty without the relationship that we were created to enjoy.

Because sin entered into the world by the disobedience of our first family, sin is a part of our heritage just like eye color or skin tone.  Jesus Christ came to give up His own life as a payment for that sin debt.  Because He was God in flesh and without sin His was the only death that was found acceptable to atone for ours.  By believing in Him, that is in His life, death and resurrection from the dead, and by accepting this gift of His forgiveness we place our trust, our very lives, in His care.  We give to Him our sin, our lives and He gives to us His forgiveness and His Spirit as a guarantee and as a Helper to us.   And we are found complete in Him forever.  We are sealed up by His Spirit in this life until we receive the promise of our inheritance in the life to come.

In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by His Spirit.

Father thank You for creating this wonderful world for us to live in.  Thank You for giving me life and for the new life that I am finding in Your Spirit.  Remember Lord that I am human and full of mistakes and weaknesses.  As we walk this life together give me opportunities to tell other people of Your great love for us and Your desire to give us a better, more complete life surrounded by Your love and graced with Your forgiveness.

The Seal

Ephesians 1   In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory.

To be honest the book of Ephesians is my favorite.  This book, for me, more than any other speaks volumes of truth in almost every sentence.  Here, in this verse, lies the hope of my life in one sentence.

As we go along in life someone comes along and shares with us the gospel, the good news, the truth of Jesus Christ and we choose to believe.  At that very moment we are given the gift of the presence, the indwelling, of the Holy Spirit.  Our Helper.  He is our assurance, our guarantee, that what we have believed in and have placed our faith in is indeed real and true.  He is the promise of our inheritance until we die and actually take possession of it.

For unbelievers it is hard to accept this concept of being indwelt by the Spirit of God.  It must sound strange.  I might be able to help demystify Him somewhat.

He is most similar, I guess, to what we know as our conscience.  That thought or urging that guides us.  Our moral compass.  It is the reason that the lie detector test works.  When we lie our body betrays us and reacts to that part of us that feels guilty for lying.  Our heart rate increases, our pupils dilate and our body temperature rises.   Why?  Even if we do not want our guilt to show we are condemned by our own conscience.

The Holy Spirit is vaguely similar but far superior.  He is a person.  He speaks truth to the heart.  Not our own version of truth which can differ from person to person.  He speaks God's unchanging and perfect truth.  He is not only a guide He is a friend.  A comforter.  Our helper.  He is the very Spirit of God and probably one of the most misunderstood entities on our plant by believer and unbelievers alike.  In Him is the power that raised Jesus from the dead.  He is the one who convinces us of truth and convicts us of sin.

Have you ever heard the story of the life and death of Jesus Christ or about the great love that God has for us and felt this odd stirring of emotion in your chest?  That is the work of the Holy Spirit urging you to believe.  To trust.

If you hear Him or feel His presence and take a step into faith and give your life to the One who gave it to you what you will find is an ever growing, ever deepening friendship with the Spirit of the living almighty God.  It is not magic or insanity.  It is the truth.  It is a miracle.  It is possible.

He is the promised Holy Spirit who is our guarantee of an inheritance in Christ until we acquire possession of it to the praise of His glory.

John 14   And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him.  You know Him, for He dwells in you and will be with you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

My Helper.  My friend.  Thank You for walking this life with me.  For Your guidance and Your friendship I can never thank You enough.  You are truth and power and integrity and wisdom.  You are Holy and righteous and I adore You.

The Voice

Psalm 95   Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!  For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.
               
                         Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Father I pray that You would bless these writings with Your presence.  Give me words to tell every reader of Your goodness, love and mercy.  I pray that every one who reads or listens would hear Your voice and open their hearts to You.  Give power to this writing because without You it is just a rambling journal.

                          Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Yesterday the family of one of my patients shared my blog at her memorial service.  It was a great honor for me not because I see myself as anything but because my words were used to speak of  how wonderful she was and how wonderful our God is.

My patients are extraordinary people and many of them find extraordinary relationships with their families and with their Creator during their struggles with cancer.  I have been given the awesome opportunity to be a witness to these miracles.  An even greater gift is to be able to speak of the love of God for us all.

I am compelled to write about my experiences and to tell you what an enormous impact He has made on my life.  He is not exactly who I thought He was or had heard that He was or had been taught that He was.  He is better.  He is more.  He is everything.  And now He is not a thought or a teaching or a philosophy.   He is an experience.  A relationship.

                                  Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

If you are reading this, know this.  I have prayed for you.  I have prayed that as you read He will speak.  I pray that He will speak truth to your heart.  The truth about His love for you.  I pray He will honor you with the gift of His presence and that you will feel His unfailing affection for you.

Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!  For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.

                                  Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Father may these words fall like seed in good ground and be planted in the lives where you have directed them. For Your kingdom.  For Your glory. For Your name.  I love You.

The Equator

Psalm 103   He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who respect Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.  As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.  For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

This morning I chatted online with my son who is deployed in the Middle East.  He seemed so close that he could have been across town.  I received an email from my friend Justina in Jerusalem.  I can leave the Atlanta airport and be in Tel Aviv in thirteen hours.  Sometimes in this modern world the east doesn't feel that far from the west.

But in actuality the earths' circumference at the equator is almost twenty five thousand miles from east to west.

As far as the east is from the west He removed our transgressions from us.

What an awesome act of love.  Stretched out on the cross from east to west He removed from us the burden of our sin.  That love compels me.  I cannot live without it.

It is difficult for us to understand that kind of love, the kind that would sacrifice for us.  Maybe because we judge love by how we love.  If we love our best friend and they betray us what happens to that love?  If we love our spouse and they are unfaithful what happens to that love?

For us love is an ever changing emotion based largely on behavior.  It grows and fades.  It matures and deepens.  It grows cold or bitter.  But God cannot be judged by our standard.  Love is not only an emotion that He possesses.  It is His very character.  He is the definition of love.  An abiding, unchanging love.  It is not dependent on our actions.  It is not earned by our behavior.  It is unfailing regardless of our circumstances.  It is constant even if we never acknowledge it or refuse to accept it.

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love.

You and I exist by an act of His love.  We were made to have a relationship with Him.  To feel and to be a witness of His love.  And to respond to it.

There is a place inside every one of us that is never filled without experiencing His love.  He made us that way.

As high as the heavens and as far as the east is from the west is His steadfast love for you.

Psalm 103   Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good.  

The Schedule

Romans 11   For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

Over the last six months my priority has been to restore the house.  It is surprising how deconditioned I have become in such a short time.  So today I am beginning a new schedule and my plan is take back ownership of my life and health.  In short, I want to become more than I am.  Better.  Healthier.  Faithful.

Last night I made out a schedule and this morning I set my alarm clock.



0730   Breakfast
0800   Seek God.
0930   Gym.

And after that (and don't laugh) I am studying a second language.

And to keep myself motivated I bought tickets for Ken and I to go to Germany in May.

Why?

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

When I think about the attributes of God, His character or hallmark characteristics, my first thought is that He is faithful.  To me this is one of the most important things.  Because if He is holy, He must be holy faithfully.  If He loves, He must love faithfully.   God does not change or waver in His thinking or in His attributes or in His love for us.  He is faithful despite what we do.

I want to rediscover what His calling is on my life.  I want to gain a better understanding of who He is and what He has for me.  I want to develop faithfulness in my own life.  When I was in nursing school I discovered that if I wanted to faithful to my studies and learn to discipline my mind that I also had to discipline my body.

So the thought for today is this....

The gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

He loves us.  Period.  He will never stop.  He will never leave.  He will never change.  He will never forget us.  He will never abandon us.  He will never forsake us.  He will never stop pursuing us.

Let's start pursuing Him.

The payoff for the physical work is a trip to Europe.

The payoff for the spiritual search is finding God and discovering the gifts and His calling in my life.

Father I do not wish to be driven by the wind or by my circumstances.  I want my life to be driven by You.  As we seek You, Lord, be found by us.  And be pleased.  I lack disciple and direction because I do not apply myself to following hard after You.  I want faithfulness to become a part of my character.  I want to become more like You.  

The Remodel

I Corinthians 3   Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.

Our house remodel is finally coming to an end.  Just another couple of weeks and we should be done and I can finally say it is looking beautiful.  I looked back at some pictures yesterday from day one and it is unrecognizable.  I get so excited to think about actually living there.

This morning I am faced with an undeniable truth.  This remodel parallels my own life.

When God found me, revealed Himself to me, I was much like my house in April after the storm.  Broken and uninhabitable.  It was raining on the inside.  I was full of dark places and gaping wounds.

Lives, like houses, are not repaired overnight or without hard work.  Sometimes things look worse before they look better.  Dirt and mud must be scraped out, walls torn down and secret damages exposed and repaired.

We have loved this house back together.  We could have repaired it with lesser quality materials, rented it out to someone else, taken the insurance money and bought a bigger house in a better neighborhood and we considered that.  But we fell in love in this house.   We had our first date in this house.  We have had Christmases, birthdays and Thanksgivings in this house.  It is our house and we love it despite its faults.

God loved me back together.  He didn't give up on me or run out on me.  I am His and He loves me despite my faults.

As pretty as our house is it is already depreciating.  In a few years the paint will start to fade, floors will begin to squeak and the roof will need repaired again.

But God has something better for us.

Eye has not seen nor ear heard, not has it entered into the thoughts of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.

A home in heaven guaranteed not to fade away.  Sealed upon the promises of God for those who wait for Him.  For those who are called.  For those who believe.

I want that.  And I want you to be there.

My house is almost finished and I am happy and excited to live there but it cannot compare to what is waiting on me in heaven nor can it compare to the excitement of living there.  To see my King!  To see my father and all those who have gone before me that my heart loved and that I still miss.

John 14   Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I will go and prepare a place for you.  I will come again and receive you unto Myself, that where I am you may be also....Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one ones to the Father but through Me.

Father I love you beyond all else.  You alone give life and life everlasting.  Thank You for the promise of life to come.  For a homeland that will never fade away and for my loved ones who wait for me there.  I believe, God.  I believe that You are and that You reward those who seek You.  I trust You for I have found You faithful in all things.

The Fighter

Song of Solomon 2   Behold, there He stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me:
                           
                             Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

Early this morning I learned that one of my favorite patients lost her battle with cancer.  Her son and daughter posted on Facebook that after a long struggle for life she had died quietly in her home, with her family, in her sleep.

My beloved speaks and says to me:

                            Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

I never loved nursing until I began working in Oncology.  Cancer patients are unique.  They are a people of right priorities.  It seems that their values line up correctly.  They soften and steel themselves in all the right places of their hearts.  That is they soften and become tender in their feelings toward the things and the people that really matter.  And they harden themselves to face the challenges that lie ahead and arm themselves with the will to fight for life.  In the end, most face the reality of their mortality and learn to die with dignity and grace.  They are beautifully courageous.

It seems to me that they are unique in the dying process.  They are privileged if you will.  Instead of facing death instantly they become acquainted slowly.  They acclimate.  This sounds strange, I know, but they transition, as it were, from the living to what is to be.  To what they are to become.  It is a process that can be watched.  With awe.  Slowly becoming more absent than present.  Often they begin to live more in the next world than in this one.  It is as if they begin to visualize a world that we cannot yet see.  Listening for a voice that we cannot yet hear.

Song of Songs  O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice, let me hear it.

Behold, there He stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me:

                              Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

Father I love this life that You have given me.  I am grateful for our friendship.  Thank You for all the things in my life.  You have been so good to me.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of, to be a witness to these wonderful people with cancer.  Thank You for the lessons that they have taught me.  When it comes time for me to die give me the courage to die gracefully.  May I see You there behind the wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  Let me hear You say to me, "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away with Me.  Please say hello to Olivia and tell her that she is beautiful inside and out and she will be missed.

The Seer

Psalm 94   He who planted the ear, does He not hear?  He who formed the eye, does He not see?

What if our eyes were opened and we could see God?

It would be easier, I think, to believe in God if we could see Him.  But we have lost that privilege through disobedience.  In the beginning the Bible says that God walked with Adam and Eve.  They communed with God face to face.

There is a mind set that says that since we cannot see God He must not exist.  Out of sight-out of mind.

But can you see the results of who He is?

On Monday we drove through Colorado Springs up to the top of Pike's Peak.  It is prime time for this drive.

The Aspens are changing color.

Driving through the winding mountains roads we would come around a curve and see the trees lit up with sunlight and they look they are on fire.  It was breathtaking.  All along the mountain ranges the aspens glow standing bright against the green of fir and pine.  Their reflections in the lake are one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

The thought that the world and everything in it came into being by accident or without a creator is....Well I cannot bring to mind a word that is vile enough.  It is an affront to God.  That we could see the beauty, the intelligence, the wonder that is our world and never give thought to it's Creator is appalling.

The Scripture says that the world is the Lords' and everything in it.  Let's forget what the world says, what the educators say and even what our mind and culture says.  Take a walk and listen to your heart.    His handiwork should be enough to convince us of His existence.

He created your ear to hear.  He created your eyes to see.  And if you will allow Him He will open your heart to love.  He is a gentleman, giving us the right of choice and respecting our decisions.  He does not often roar into our lives commanding our attention but rather is found in the sound of the wind and rain.  Flowing softly into our lives through the sounds of birds and the laughter of children.  Warmer than the suns rays and more beautiful than the aspens in their own reflections.

Do you need proof to believe in God?  Watch a sunset.  Sit on the beach in the quiet of your mind and watch the waves roll in.  Look through a telescope on a clear night.  Find a place to be alone and ask the question with a seeking heart, God are you there?

He who planted the ear, does He not hear?  He who formed the eye, does He not see?

Father You are beautiful beyond measure.  You are lovely in Your creativity, wise beyond what we will ever know and generous in Your love for us.  Thank You for creating for us such a wonderful world to live in, for sunlight and moonlight, fire and water, plants and animals.  Open our eyes and ears and hearts to YOU Lord.  Speak softly into the hearts of every seeker and say, Yes I Am here.