The Restoration

II Corinthians 13 For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for.

If I were to give an account of my purpose in this work, these ramblings, it might be this...

Your restoration is what we pray for.

What if He is not who you think He is, who you have been told that He is, who you have imagined Him to be?

I would propose to you that He is not.

He is more. Much more.

More than can be imagined. More than what can be comprehended. More than what can be attained. More than can be contained. He must be experienced.

He loves stronger, truer and more completely than you think. He is love by choice. He is love by the character and force of His will. He is love personified.

And His desire is for you. You are the object of His affection. His ardor. His passion. His longing.

And what is the goal of His pursuit?

Restoration. By His love He restores us to a relationship with Himself. It is your heart He is after.

What if everything that has ever happened in your life is for the purpose of finding your way back to Him? What if He has pursued you every step that you have ever taken? What if He has been watching your every move?

Can you sense Him there, in the story of your life?

Sometimes I am asked about the reason for the transparency that I share in this blog and why I reveal the unpleasant details of my thoughts or the shame of my past or the sinful nature of my life. Why do I do that?

For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for.

I want you to know that there is nowhere to hide from Him and no need to try. He desire is to bring you to a place of peace and contentment. He wants to restore you to the beauty that He had in mind when He created you.

He loves you. Pure. Simple. Eternal.

He is not looking for perfection in you. He is longing for a relationship with you.

I tell you the truth. He created you. He has loved you every day of you life. He is not disappointed in you. He is not waiting to punish you. He is watching you and loving you and waiting for you.

He will restore you.

And that is what I pray for.

The Soul

Psalm 66 Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what He has done for my soul.

Yesterday I woke with the knowledge that I am to go back to college for a higher degree in nursing. Just like that.

Just like before.

And I sit and contemplate how good He has been to me, I remember the first time He spoke to me of college.

As a high school drop out I remember being so scared as I walked into the GED classroom. So embarrassed and feeling like a failure, I hung my head and took my seat. It was a very hard day and I was alone, except for Him.

I began working during the day and going to college at night to finish my requirements for admission to the nursing program. I cried during math more than once but I fell in love with science. I came face to face with the pure genius of God in my science classes. The day that the letter came for my admission into the nursing program was one of the most exciting days in my life.

I remember so well the first day of class for nursing. I was terrified of failing. I was terrified of feeling foolish. I was afraid that I didn't have what it took to complete the course before me. From the back of the classroom, someone that I didn't even know, nominated me for vice president of the nursing class. I just wanted to disappear into the floor. I was scarred enough without being an officer. I won the vote.

On the day of my graduation from the program I made my first public speech as a college graduate. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. I was a registered nurse.

My education is only one of the the gifts that He has given me. It was more than just a degree. It was a day by day dependence on my Father. He supplied every need. He gave the wisdom to complete my studies. He paid the bills. He provided the sleep and rest when I had to have it and helped me stay up long nights to study when I had to.

Come and hear and I will tell you what He has done for my soul.

With every step that I have taken I have found solid ground under my feet. He is a firm foundation ever leading me to higher ground.

There is purpose in His work in our lives. I am so excited to see what this next chapter holds. I have learned that He can be trusted and that He has the very best intentions for our lives. He longs to give us fulfillment, freedom and joy in this life and He can be trusted to bring us safely into His kingdom when this life is over.

Do you know Him?

John 3 Whatever He tells you to do, do that.

Father (it is no wonder that we call you that) thank you for being an encourager of Your daughters and sons. Thank You for giving us confidence to achieve greater things according to Your plan. Thank You for my education and my continuing education. Help me to be faithful to the things that You call me to and to trust You to make me sufficient for it all. I am so grateful for the life that You have given me and I look forward to the life that is to come.

The Cottage

II Corinthians 7 Make room in your hearts for us.

Last night I dreamed that I had been given a beautiful spot of land with a small cottage and a lovely garden. I wandered around the rooms of the cottage touching the wooden farm table, looking out the windows, running my hands over the river rock of the fireplace deciding which furniture would be moved to make this place my own. I ventured out into the garden and was delighted to find a large area away from the house where there were hundreds of plants grouped together like an outdoor nursery just waiting for me to place them in the new beds around the property. There was a small stream that ran through the gardens and I was just so enchanted with this place that seemed to have been created with me in mind. Heading back into the house I found gardening clothes that fit me perfectly. Soft denim shorts, large floppy hat and cotton gloves. I found a small shed equipped with tools, bird feeders, wind chimes and bird baths just waiting for me to fit them into the landscape.

Turning to hear some noise from the outdoor nursery I was horrified to see that someone had taken a shovel and completely destroyed the garden. Every plant was ripped up by the roots and destroyed with the end of the spade. As I sat sobbing over the loss of the garden the cottage went up in flames and burned to the ground.

I am not sure if there is any profound knowledge to be gained from the dream but I do think that this is just another part of the work that the Lord is trying to complete in me. He is teaching me that the value in this world is to be found in relationships.

Ken and I live a very different lifestyle from almost everyone I have ever met. We are nomadic. I have become convinced over the last couple of months that this is the Lord's plan for us. He is freeing us up for His own purpose. He is expanding our boundaries in every way.

I woke with the knowledge that I have a home in heaven, built by my Father, which will never be taken away. It will never be destroyed. It will never grown old.

I hope it looks something like the one in the dream.

Make room in your hearts for us.

Father thank You for the wonderful adventure that is life. Expand our territories Lord. Expand our hearts to receive all that You have for us. Watch over those that we love and miss. Father above all help us to make an impact in this world for You. For all You have done for us. We thank YOU.

The Ambassador

II Corinthians 5 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us.

The obvious question is, What is my life saying to you on His behalf?

I read a quote recently by Pen Jillette (from Penn and Teller) on his thoughts on Christianity:

"If you believe that there's a heaven and hell, and people could be going to hell, or not getting eternal life, or whatever, and you think that, well it's not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward...How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?"

When I read this I just stopped for a while and let it sink in. I hope you do the same.

II Corinthians 5 We IMPLORE you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

Sometimes I get angry about the injustices in this world. I complain that the wealthy should help care for the poor, the drug companies should send medications to the uninsured, stranded airline passengers should be allowed to stay in empty hotel rooms and lawyers should have to be held accountable for the crimes that are committed by persons that they had declared innocent in the courts when they knew differently.

But maybe the greatest injustice of all is that we as Christians hold the knowledge of the gift of eternal life in our hearts and that is where it remains. In us. Never shared. Never talked about.

Who have I implored on behalf of Christ today?

I have been entrusted with an ambassadorship from my King. I owe Him that. I owe Him my life. I owe Him my eternal life. And I owe it to you to tell you of His greatness. His gentleness. His kindness. His salvation. His love. For you.

Do you know Him?

Father I want my life to reflect the gratitude that I feel in my heart for You. I love you Father. You have been so good to me. To us all. Let my life speak on Your behalf and for Your kingdom.