The Question

Job 38  Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make known to Me.

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?  Tell me, if you have understanding.

Who determined its measurements-surely you know!  Or who stretched the line upon it?  On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone;  when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Or who shut in the sea with doors when it burst out from the womb, when I made clouds its garment and thick darkness its swaddling band, and prescribed limits for it and set bars and doors, and said, Thus far shall you come, and no farther, and here shall your proud waves be stayed?

Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place, that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth and the wicked be shaken out of it?.....

Have you entered into the springs of the sea, or walked in the recesses of the deep?  Have the gates of death been revealed to you, or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?  Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?  Declare, if you know all this.

Where is the way to the dwelling of light, and where is the place of darkness, that you may take it to its territory and that you may discern the paths to its home?  You know, for you were born then, and the number of your days is great!

Have you entered the storehouses of the snow, or have you seen the storehouses of the hail, which I have reserved for the time of trouble, for the day of battle and war?  What is the way to the place where the light is distributed, or where the east wind is scattered upon the earth?

Who has cleft a channel for the torrents of rain and a way for the thunderbolt, to bring rain on a land where no man is, on the desert in which there is no man, to satisfy the waste and desolate land, and to make the ground sprout with grass?

Has the rain a father, or who has begotten the drops of dew?  From whose womb did the ice come forth, and who has given birth to the frost of heaven?.....

Then Job answered the Lord and said:  I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.  Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?  Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.....I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.


I am somewhat fascinated with the book of Job, especially the beginning and the end.  It would seem that God dealt severely with someone who loved and respected Him so much.  In the beginning Job is used as somewhat of a pawn between the powers of good and evil, between God and Satan and in the process Job is ceremoniously and swiftly stripped of all that he holds dear, even his own flesh.

After this great tragedy, where Job is not as fortunate as the readers and is not aware that there will be a happier ending, his "friends" come to comfort him and for the next few chapters they sit and expound on all their knowledge of God and it takes a while.  God it seems is listening to the oratory as well and stands by while He is being discussed.  They discuss how He thinks, how He punishes or rewards, how He operates in every situation.

And then we come to the moment where God presents Himself to Job with clarity and Job, after the Lord has set things right, shows us just how small we really are in the whole scheme of things.  Job offers God respect and honor and admits that he talks about things that He really, up to this point, did not understand.  Job admits to God that he really knows very little of who He is and how He feels and how He operates.  And we get to glimpse in this conversation the wonderful genius that is our God, His creativity, His wisdom and sense of order.  We get a glimpse of His greatness and that feels like an honor to me.  He has allowed a peek into creation itself.  He pulls back the vail and reveals Himself to us as if He wants to be understood.  As if we can.

The last chapter deals with God's restoration of Job.

And Job died, an old man, and full of days.

The Light

I have heard it said, "If you make a mistake go back to the beginning and start again".

Genesis 1  In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

And God said, Let there be light.  And there was light.  And God saw that the light was good.

Over the last few month I have asked myself some very serious questions about God and the Bible.  Do I really believe?  Is it really true?

I am exposed to lots of different belief systems and theologies in my travels and in my work.  I meet a lot of people who are convinced of a lot of "truths".  Maybe the patients that I care for who are dying make the biggest impression on me because they are desperate for truth about what really happens when you die.  But for the most part I have found that there are as many different philosophies as there are fingerprints and almost everyone has their own sense of what truth is to them.

So, if you are interested I will share with you my conclusion.  Do I believe?

Yes I do.  Not because I grew up in the Bible belt or because I came from a Christian family.  I do not believe because it is popular with my dying patients.  I do not believe because I need to or am afraid not to.  I don't believe because it makes sense to me.

I believe for what He has done for me.  Period.

I believe for Who He Is to me.

I was dark and void and without shape or function.  I was lost and wasted.  I was without direction or purpose or meaning.  I was adrift.

Until the moment He came to me I was desperate and He spoke life and light into my life.  I will be perfectly honest with you and tell you that this alone is what holds me to Him.  It is the point that I cannot get away from.  It is the truth that will not let me go.  It is the only thing that I know.

He made a difference in me that nothing else could.  Not religion, not Church, not therapy, not college or kids or drugs or sex or anything else under the sun (and I tried pretty much everything).   He alone rescued me and gave meaning to my life.

I have not been educated or become well mannered or function as a compassionate nurse because of knowledge or etiquette.  He changed me.

And that's it.  That is why I love Him.  That is why I trust Him.  That is why I cannot let go of Him because He did for me what no one else could or would.  And that is selfish, I know but it is the truth.

He loved me into a relationship with Him that I cannot escape.

I will not try to convince you otherwise, although if you give me a chance I might, I would just submit to you that He is and that He brings light in the darkest places.  Even death.

He does this because it is His nature to love.  It is who He is.

Father I am thankful that you love me enough to let me struggle with my feelings.  You are not my crutch or my own wishful thinking.  You are my friend and my comforter.  My redeemer and the lifter of my head.