The Willing

And behold, a leper came to Him and knelt before Him, saying, Lord; if You will, You can make me clean.

And Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, saying, I will; be clean.

So today some thought on willingness.  I wonder....If we knew God's will for our lives would we be willing to walk in it?  If He revealed to us the person that He had chosen for us to marry; or if He chose our vocation, our lifestyle and the region in which He desired for us to live would we choose His pathway with gladness?

Lord, if You will, You can make me clean....

I find that in my own life I want the gifts of God sometimes more that I want the will of God.  I, too, want to be healed and made clean.  I pray for protection, for provision, for wisdom and health and on and on but do I want Him or just what He has to offer me?  Am I willing to seek Him and His will or continue to insist of having my own way?

Throughout Scripture I find a willingness in Christ to do whatever was asked of Him.  Feed the hungry.  Heal the sick.  Comfort the broken.  Forgive the lost.  Teach the seekers.  He gave everything to fulfill His Father's purpose and to see His kingdom come.

Even when facing the cross He was willing.

Matthew 26   He (Jesus) fell on His face and prayed, saying, My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.

I want to ask some questions when I get to heaven and maybe the first one would be to Jesus.  Something like this, How way it decided that You would die for us?

Seeing His ministry and reading this story it would not surprise me if He volunteered.

Lord, if You will, You can make me clean.  And Jesus stretched out His hand and touched Him, saying, I will.

For my soul He was willing.  What will be my response to Him?

Father, I love You.  Not just Your gifts or Your favor.  I love You.  Give me courage Lord to follow hard after You and to seek Your will for my life and to find my Yes, my willingness, in You.

The Centurion

Matthew 8   When He (Jesus) entered Capernaum, a centurion came forward to Him, appealing to Him, Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, suffering terribly.  And He said to him, I will come and heal him.  But the centurion replied, Lord, I am not worthy to have You come under my roof, but only say the word, and my servant will be healed.  For I too am a man under authority, with soldiers under me.  And I say to one, Go, and he goes, and to another, Come, and he comes, and to my servant, Do this, and he does it.  When Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who followed Him, Truly, I tell you, with no one in Israel have I found such faith.

As I was reading this story I thought, Wow.  I would have loved to have been a witness to this.  To have faith to ask for a miracle to see my request come to life would be fantastic.  What an awesome miracle.

And immediately the Helper says, Did you not pray for your son to be delivered safely home from deployment?  And is he not at this moment with his wife and daughter in Kansas?

Psalm 9   I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of Your wonderful deeds.  I will be glad and exalt in You; I will sing praise to Your Name, O Most High....Those who know Your Name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

As you read this guard your heart from cynicism.  Thoughts will creep in that say, Now that was not a miracle or an answer to prayer.  That was just a coincidence or fate or luck.  Plenty of soldiers came home without the prayers of their families and soldiers die despite prayers for their safety.

I will not try to convince you either way.  What I will tell you is how it plays out in my heart.

I cannot always trust the thoughts in my heart and mind.  We all struggle with thoughts of negativity and broken ways of thinking.  We all carry baggage and past hurts and doubts in ourselves and in God.  So how to we discern between conscious thoughts and the voice of our Lord?

I have become familiar to the voice of God in the same way that I recognize the voice of my mother, my sisters or my children over the phone.  His is the voice of simple truth.  Love, hope, faith, courage and the proof of His existence are in His voice.  Even when He is teaching me or correcting my steps there is no condemnation.  Only truth in love.  Negativity does not come from God.  Thoughts of doubt, fear, inadequacy or self depreciation do not come from God.  

I will choose to believe in God's truth and in His provision and I will leave my mind open to believe in miracles.  I will choose to have faith in Him, faith like a centurion.

Psalm 121   I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come?  My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and  earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.  The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The sun shall not strike you by day, not the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

Father thank You for bringing Jodie back to his family.  Thank You for all who give of themselves in honor and duty to country and family.  Bless them and keep them safe in Your care.

Jodie if you read this, call your mama :)

The Delight

Joshua 24    I gave you a land on which you had not labored and cities that you had not built, and you dwell in them.  You eat the fruit of vineyards and olive orchards that you did not plant.  Now therefore fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and in faithfulness...And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

This morning I stood in Church with our girls and son-in-laws knowing that my son is finally back in the States and getting to know his daughter in Kansas and I am filled with a joy that is barely contained.  No one deserves to be this happy.  No one who has known me from my youth would believe that this is my life.

I gave you a land on which you had not labored and cities that you had not built, and you dwell in them.  You eat the fruit of vineyards and olive orchards that you did not plant.

I have been given a life that I did not earn.  And what will be my response be to my Deliverer?  It should be no less than my life.

How can I repay You for all Your goodness toward me?  How can I thank You enough?

I will bless Your name with the words of my mouth.  I will tell of Your goodness to those willing to hear!

Psalm 18  ( Because no one knows praise better than King David)   I love You, O Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised and I am saved...He sent from on high, He took me; He drew me out of many waters, He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me...He brought me out into a broad place.  He rescued me because He delighted in me.

Because He delighted in me!!!

Is there anything in this life that can bring more comfort, more joy, more devotion than an undeserved loved from God.  He delights in me.  And for that and for all He has done I will choose this day to serve Him.  As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.

Father it is still unbelievable to me what You have done with my life.  You rescued me from it all.  Abuse, addiction, poverty, ignorance and worthlessness.  You found me.  You rescued me.  You brought me to this broad place and this cherished life and for reasons that I will never understand You delighted in me.  Thank You for everything.  My life, my children, my church, the Holy Spirit and Your Word.  All that I am, all that I have and all that I desire is found in You.  For giving me cities that I did not build and vineyards that I did not plant... I am grateful.

The Warning

Matthew 2   And angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, Rise, take the Child and His mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the Child, to destroy Him.

The Scriptures say that Joseph got up while it was still night and left with his family.  What an amazing man.  Because of his faith in God and his obedience he saved his family and Jesus lived.

Wow, right?

Then Herod, when He saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under.

As far as we know the angel did not appear to any other family with a warning that would have saved their children.

This past weekend my sisters, Ken, Jaimie and I were sitting around a camp fire and the subject came up of why these things happen.  We were discussing the recent Spring tornadoes and the miraculous stories of how people were rescued.  May of them say that they were praying and believe that they are alive today because of God's grace and protection.  The question was, What about those who were not spared?  Does God have grace and favor for everyone or only for those that He chooses?

And I wish that I had an adequate answer for this question.

I am in a quiet place in my life and praise comes easily now.  Our children are married and doing so well.  My son is due home from deployment any day now.  My granddaughter is a doll baby and our parents are relatively well for their ages.  I cherish this time in my life.

But I believe that all of my past experiences have led me to this time in my life and the road that I have traveled to get to this day has been filled with times of great sadness.

What I do know is this: God is faithful.

Sorrows are a part of every life.  Tragedy and illness and death find us all.  This is a promise found in Scripture.  Life is full of joy, passion, laughter and sunshine and it is also full of trouble.  The good and the bad.

It is enough for me to know that He sees me and that He controls my life, my health, my family and the time of my death.  He holds my future in His hands and I trust Him with it all.

It is easy to question God when things, terrible things, come our way.  It is tough to praise when your heart is breaking.  It is hard to trust when things fall apart.

But when they fall apart, (and they will)  lean into Him.  Just tell Him how you feel (He knows it anyway).  Cry to Him and cling to Him and hold on to Him.

For He cares for you.

Only one Child was spared in Bethlehem.  I do not know why the other children were allowed to be murdered but I do know why One was spared.  He was the Savior of the world.

He had a later appointment with death.  A brutal, tortuous death.  He also had a life and a ministry and by Him all that will ever be saved, are saved.

Your life is not random.  Your pain does not go unnoticed.  You are not alone.  He sees you.

Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.

Philippians 4   For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Father thank You for times in life when things are good and praise is easy.  Thank You for walking with me through the valleys and times when praise was difficult.  Whatever happens in life You are good and You are sufficient.  Thank You for being a God, a Father, a Friend who draw near in times of trouble.  For those in my family who are suffering, for those reading who are suffering, for those around the planet who are suffering....be near Lord.  Be the Comforter who can be felt in the hearts of man.  Be merciful, O Lord, to us.

The Light

Ephesians 5   For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord...Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.  Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

My step daughter, Haley, sang one of my very favorite songs Sunday morning....

When I think about the Lord, how He saved me, how He raised me, how He filled me with the Holy Ghost, how He healed me to the uttermost, when I think about the Lord how He picked me up and turned me around, how He placed my feet on solid ground.  It makes me wanna shout, Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus! Lord You're worthy of all the glory!  Of all the honor!  Of all the praise!.

Every time I hear this song I cry.  If I could have written a song that describes how I feel, it would have been this one.

When I think about the Lord....

Before He came I was dead on the inside.  So ravaged by life.  By secrets.  By hidden pain.

I was estranged.

And with His coming He gave a promise, the sweetest words ever spoken to me.

If you will give Me your life I will make somethings beautiful out of it.

When I think about the Lord....

Not one of His promises has failed.  He offered a new life.  Restoration of my family.  A relationship with my children.  A career in nursing.  A place in Israel.  Freedom from smoking.  A beautiful life.  The night He came I wrote down a list of His promises and not one of them has failed.

If you will give Me your life I will make something beautiful out of it.

I stood in Church on Sunday with hands held high and tears streaming down remembering where I was on that day and seeing where I am this day.  Because He loved me.

And when I think about that it is almost more than this body can contain.

When I think about the Lord, how He saved me, how He raised me, how He filled me with the Holy Ghost, how He healed me to the uttermost.  When I think about the Lord, how He picked me up and turned me around, how He placed my feet on solid ground.  It makes me wanna shout!  Hallelujah!  Thank you Jesus! Lord you're worthy! Of all the glory! And the honor! And all the praise!

Father I love You so much and I am so thankful for Your promises to me.  I am grateful that what You promise You bring to pass.  My question is, Why?   Why do You love me so much?  What do you ever see in Me?  I know, and You know that I am no good.  But please don't stop.  I cannot live and breathe without it.

Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you!!!!

The Children

Psalm 127   Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord.

Saturday night I received a text from my niece, Beth.  It is time for her daughters first hair cut and she asked me to do the honors.  I cried and so did Ken.  Maddie is the love of our heart.

Because I know how far the Lord has brought me these tender moments with my family make me so emotional.  There was a time when I wasn't worth knowing.

Leave the world better than you found it.  I am sure that you have heard this phrase.  Maddie is a perfect example of leaving the world in better shape than you found it.  All that she will ever become is a reflection of all that her family has poured into her life.  If success is a measure of our love for her then there is no end to what she will become.  She has been moulded  by us and we have been forever enriched because of her.  She is our heritage and our legacy.  A gift to us from God.

Families are a gift from God and this summer has been one of family reunions.  We have had a Bowen and a Gamble family reunion this summer.   All the things that I love and cherish are a result of their influence on my life.  My love of gardening, photography, reading and my faith in God have all been shared with me by my family.

One of my favorite memories of this summer will be singing with my sisters and my cousins this past weekend.  How could they have know that we sang my very favorite hymns.  I started out playing the piano but it was out of shape so we decided to sing without it and I am so glad.  Without the piano you could hear their harmony.  We share the same blood and we grew up together so it sounded so natural.  We are linked together by our families, by our heritage and by the Spirit of our God.  Knitted together in past and future.

These moments are only a shadow of what is to come.  There is coming a day when we will live together in a glorious land where there is no death, no sin, no separation.  In that day we will stand in the righteousness of our King and we will declare with one voice His glory!!  His majesty!!!  We will sing in perfect harmony of His great love for us and His never ending grace and favor.  He will be crowned the King of Glory and we will worship Him because He is worthy.  On that day I will stand with my family and honor the Father that brought it all into being.

And the thought of that is almost more than I can bear.

Father I can never thank You enough for the life that You have given me.  Thank You for restoring me to my family.  Thank You for my sweet mama who taught me to follow hard after You.  Thank You for all the people who poured themselves into my life.  I claim the hearts of each of them for Your kingdom Lord.  I want them all.  Let us not come to You empty handed but full with the lives of those that we love.  Let us not lose a single one.  Until that day Lord we will work to see Your kingdom come.

The Space

Ephesians 2   In Him (Christ) you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

I would like to have been a witness to Gods' creation of the world.  Can you imagine anything more wonderful?  The Scriptures teach that God created everything from empty spaces, even time was born.  By the power of the words from God's mouth all that has ever been came into being.  God spoke and it was so.  It makes me happy to see the flowers, my people, pop up out of the ground in spring and to realize that each one was hand crafted by my Father.

God revealed to us His majesty, His wisdom, His creativity in building this planet as a dwelling place for His people.  Since God never changes I imagine that this world is a mere shadow of the wonder that is waiting to be revealed in the life that follows this one.

Just as the earth was created for us to live in, our bodies were created as a dwelling place for the Spirit of our God.  Until we live with Him physically He lives with us spiritually so we will never feel alone or without His presence.

When I watch the news I realize just how far we will go to fill a void in our lives where the Spirit of God should be dwelling.  We are enslaved to every kind of evil.  We are designed to never feel truly complete until we are filled with God's Spirit.  Until that day there is a hole; something is missing from us.  And in an effort to fill that void we search for and become addicted to all that can be seen and felt and consumed.

Just as the earth would feel empty without the sound of laughter or music our lives are somewhat empty without the relationship that we were created to enjoy.

Because sin entered into the world by the disobedience of our first family, sin is a part of our heritage just like eye color or skin tone.  Jesus Christ came to give up His own life as a payment for that sin debt.  Because He was God in flesh and without sin His was the only death that was found acceptable to atone for ours.  By believing in Him, that is in His life, death and resurrection from the dead, and by accepting this gift of His forgiveness we place our trust, our very lives, in His care.  We give to Him our sin, our lives and He gives to us His forgiveness and His Spirit as a guarantee and as a Helper to us.   And we are found complete in Him forever.  We are sealed up by His Spirit in this life until we receive the promise of our inheritance in the life to come.

In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by His Spirit.

Father thank You for creating this wonderful world for us to live in.  Thank You for giving me life and for the new life that I am finding in Your Spirit.  Remember Lord that I am human and full of mistakes and weaknesses.  As we walk this life together give me opportunities to tell other people of Your great love for us and Your desire to give us a better, more complete life surrounded by Your love and graced with Your forgiveness.

The Seal

Ephesians 1   In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory.

To be honest the book of Ephesians is my favorite.  This book, for me, more than any other speaks volumes of truth in almost every sentence.  Here, in this verse, lies the hope of my life in one sentence.

As we go along in life someone comes along and shares with us the gospel, the good news, the truth of Jesus Christ and we choose to believe.  At that very moment we are given the gift of the presence, the indwelling, of the Holy Spirit.  Our Helper.  He is our assurance, our guarantee, that what we have believed in and have placed our faith in is indeed real and true.  He is the promise of our inheritance until we die and actually take possession of it.

For unbelievers it is hard to accept this concept of being indwelt by the Spirit of God.  It must sound strange.  I might be able to help demystify Him somewhat.

He is most similar, I guess, to what we know as our conscience.  That thought or urging that guides us.  Our moral compass.  It is the reason that the lie detector test works.  When we lie our body betrays us and reacts to that part of us that feels guilty for lying.  Our heart rate increases, our pupils dilate and our body temperature rises.   Why?  Even if we do not want our guilt to show we are condemned by our own conscience.

The Holy Spirit is vaguely similar but far superior.  He is a person.  He speaks truth to the heart.  Not our own version of truth which can differ from person to person.  He speaks God's unchanging and perfect truth.  He is not only a guide He is a friend.  A comforter.  Our helper.  He is the very Spirit of God and probably one of the most misunderstood entities on our plant by believer and unbelievers alike.  In Him is the power that raised Jesus from the dead.  He is the one who convinces us of truth and convicts us of sin.

Have you ever heard the story of the life and death of Jesus Christ or about the great love that God has for us and felt this odd stirring of emotion in your chest?  That is the work of the Holy Spirit urging you to believe.  To trust.

If you hear Him or feel His presence and take a step into faith and give your life to the One who gave it to you what you will find is an ever growing, ever deepening friendship with the Spirit of the living almighty God.  It is not magic or insanity.  It is the truth.  It is a miracle.  It is possible.

He is the promised Holy Spirit who is our guarantee of an inheritance in Christ until we acquire possession of it to the praise of His glory.

John 14   And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him.  You know Him, for He dwells in you and will be with you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

My Helper.  My friend.  Thank You for walking this life with me.  For Your guidance and Your friendship I can never thank You enough.  You are truth and power and integrity and wisdom.  You are Holy and righteous and I adore You.

The Voice

Psalm 95   Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!  For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.
               
                         Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Father I pray that You would bless these writings with Your presence.  Give me words to tell every reader of Your goodness, love and mercy.  I pray that every one who reads or listens would hear Your voice and open their hearts to You.  Give power to this writing because without You it is just a rambling journal.

                          Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Yesterday the family of one of my patients shared my blog at her memorial service.  It was a great honor for me not because I see myself as anything but because my words were used to speak of  how wonderful she was and how wonderful our God is.

My patients are extraordinary people and many of them find extraordinary relationships with their families and with their Creator during their struggles with cancer.  I have been given the awesome opportunity to be a witness to these miracles.  An even greater gift is to be able to speak of the love of God for us all.

I am compelled to write about my experiences and to tell you what an enormous impact He has made on my life.  He is not exactly who I thought He was or had heard that He was or had been taught that He was.  He is better.  He is more.  He is everything.  And now He is not a thought or a teaching or a philosophy.   He is an experience.  A relationship.

                                  Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

If you are reading this, know this.  I have prayed for you.  I have prayed that as you read He will speak.  I pray that He will speak truth to your heart.  The truth about His love for you.  I pray He will honor you with the gift of His presence and that you will feel His unfailing affection for you.

Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!  For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.

                                  Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.

Father may these words fall like seed in good ground and be planted in the lives where you have directed them. For Your kingdom.  For Your glory. For Your name.  I love You.

The Equator

Psalm 103   He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who respect Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.  As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.  For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

This morning I chatted online with my son who is deployed in the Middle East.  He seemed so close that he could have been across town.  I received an email from my friend Justina in Jerusalem.  I can leave the Atlanta airport and be in Tel Aviv in thirteen hours.  Sometimes in this modern world the east doesn't feel that far from the west.

But in actuality the earths' circumference at the equator is almost twenty five thousand miles from east to west.

As far as the east is from the west He removed our transgressions from us.

What an awesome act of love.  Stretched out on the cross from east to west He removed from us the burden of our sin.  That love compels me.  I cannot live without it.

It is difficult for us to understand that kind of love, the kind that would sacrifice for us.  Maybe because we judge love by how we love.  If we love our best friend and they betray us what happens to that love?  If we love our spouse and they are unfaithful what happens to that love?

For us love is an ever changing emotion based largely on behavior.  It grows and fades.  It matures and deepens.  It grows cold or bitter.  But God cannot be judged by our standard.  Love is not only an emotion that He possesses.  It is His very character.  He is the definition of love.  An abiding, unchanging love.  It is not dependent on our actions.  It is not earned by our behavior.  It is unfailing regardless of our circumstances.  It is constant even if we never acknowledge it or refuse to accept it.

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love.

You and I exist by an act of His love.  We were made to have a relationship with Him.  To feel and to be a witness of His love.  And to respond to it.

There is a place inside every one of us that is never filled without experiencing His love.  He made us that way.

As high as the heavens and as far as the east is from the west is His steadfast love for you.

Psalm 103   Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name!  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good.  

The Schedule

Romans 11   For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

Over the last six months my priority has been to restore the house.  It is surprising how deconditioned I have become in such a short time.  So today I am beginning a new schedule and my plan is take back ownership of my life and health.  In short, I want to become more than I am.  Better.  Healthier.  Faithful.

Last night I made out a schedule and this morning I set my alarm clock.



0730   Breakfast
0800   Seek God.
0930   Gym.

And after that (and don't laugh) I am studying a second language.

And to keep myself motivated I bought tickets for Ken and I to go to Germany in May.

Why?

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

When I think about the attributes of God, His character or hallmark characteristics, my first thought is that He is faithful.  To me this is one of the most important things.  Because if He is holy, He must be holy faithfully.  If He loves, He must love faithfully.   God does not change or waver in His thinking or in His attributes or in His love for us.  He is faithful despite what we do.

I want to rediscover what His calling is on my life.  I want to gain a better understanding of who He is and what He has for me.  I want to develop faithfulness in my own life.  When I was in nursing school I discovered that if I wanted to faithful to my studies and learn to discipline my mind that I also had to discipline my body.

So the thought for today is this....

The gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

He loves us.  Period.  He will never stop.  He will never leave.  He will never change.  He will never forget us.  He will never abandon us.  He will never forsake us.  He will never stop pursuing us.

Let's start pursuing Him.

The payoff for the physical work is a trip to Europe.

The payoff for the spiritual search is finding God and discovering the gifts and His calling in my life.

Father I do not wish to be driven by the wind or by my circumstances.  I want my life to be driven by You.  As we seek You, Lord, be found by us.  And be pleased.  I lack disciple and direction because I do not apply myself to following hard after You.  I want faithfulness to become a part of my character.  I want to become more like You.  

The Remodel

I Corinthians 3   Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.

Our house remodel is finally coming to an end.  Just another couple of weeks and we should be done and I can finally say it is looking beautiful.  I looked back at some pictures yesterday from day one and it is unrecognizable.  I get so excited to think about actually living there.

This morning I am faced with an undeniable truth.  This remodel parallels my own life.

When God found me, revealed Himself to me, I was much like my house in April after the storm.  Broken and uninhabitable.  It was raining on the inside.  I was full of dark places and gaping wounds.

Lives, like houses, are not repaired overnight or without hard work.  Sometimes things look worse before they look better.  Dirt and mud must be scraped out, walls torn down and secret damages exposed and repaired.

We have loved this house back together.  We could have repaired it with lesser quality materials, rented it out to someone else, taken the insurance money and bought a bigger house in a better neighborhood and we considered that.  But we fell in love in this house.   We had our first date in this house.  We have had Christmases, birthdays and Thanksgivings in this house.  It is our house and we love it despite its faults.

God loved me back together.  He didn't give up on me or run out on me.  I am His and He loves me despite my faults.

As pretty as our house is it is already depreciating.  In a few years the paint will start to fade, floors will begin to squeak and the roof will need repaired again.

But God has something better for us.

Eye has not seen nor ear heard, not has it entered into the thoughts of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him.

A home in heaven guaranteed not to fade away.  Sealed upon the promises of God for those who wait for Him.  For those who are called.  For those who believe.

I want that.  And I want you to be there.

My house is almost finished and I am happy and excited to live there but it cannot compare to what is waiting on me in heaven nor can it compare to the excitement of living there.  To see my King!  To see my father and all those who have gone before me that my heart loved and that I still miss.

John 14   Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you.  I will go and prepare a place for you.  I will come again and receive you unto Myself, that where I am you may be also....Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one ones to the Father but through Me.

Father I love you beyond all else.  You alone give life and life everlasting.  Thank You for the promise of life to come.  For a homeland that will never fade away and for my loved ones who wait for me there.  I believe, God.  I believe that You are and that You reward those who seek You.  I trust You for I have found You faithful in all things.

The Fighter

Song of Solomon 2   Behold, there He stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me:
                           
                             Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

Early this morning I learned that one of my favorite patients lost her battle with cancer.  Her son and daughter posted on Facebook that after a long struggle for life she had died quietly in her home, with her family, in her sleep.

My beloved speaks and says to me:

                            Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

I never loved nursing until I began working in Oncology.  Cancer patients are unique.  They are a people of right priorities.  It seems that their values line up correctly.  They soften and steel themselves in all the right places of their hearts.  That is they soften and become tender in their feelings toward the things and the people that really matter.  And they harden themselves to face the challenges that lie ahead and arm themselves with the will to fight for life.  In the end, most face the reality of their mortality and learn to die with dignity and grace.  They are beautifully courageous.

It seems to me that they are unique in the dying process.  They are privileged if you will.  Instead of facing death instantly they become acquainted slowly.  They acclimate.  This sounds strange, I know, but they transition, as it were, from the living to what is to be.  To what they are to become.  It is a process that can be watched.  With awe.  Slowly becoming more absent than present.  Often they begin to live more in the next world than in this one.  It is as if they begin to visualize a world that we cannot yet see.  Listening for a voice that we cannot yet hear.

Song of Songs  O you who dwell in the gardens, with companions listening for your voice, let me hear it.

Behold, there He stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me:

                              Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.

Father I love this life that You have given me.  I am grateful for our friendship.  Thank You for all the things in my life.  You have been so good to me.  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of, to be a witness to these wonderful people with cancer.  Thank You for the lessons that they have taught me.  When it comes time for me to die give me the courage to die gracefully.  May I see You there behind the wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  Let me hear You say to me, "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away with Me.  Please say hello to Olivia and tell her that she is beautiful inside and out and she will be missed.

The Seer

Psalm 94   He who planted the ear, does He not hear?  He who formed the eye, does He not see?

What if our eyes were opened and we could see God?

It would be easier, I think, to believe in God if we could see Him.  But we have lost that privilege through disobedience.  In the beginning the Bible says that God walked with Adam and Eve.  They communed with God face to face.

There is a mind set that says that since we cannot see God He must not exist.  Out of sight-out of mind.

But can you see the results of who He is?

On Monday we drove through Colorado Springs up to the top of Pike's Peak.  It is prime time for this drive.

The Aspens are changing color.

Driving through the winding mountains roads we would come around a curve and see the trees lit up with sunlight and they look they are on fire.  It was breathtaking.  All along the mountain ranges the aspens glow standing bright against the green of fir and pine.  Their reflections in the lake are one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

The thought that the world and everything in it came into being by accident or without a creator is....Well I cannot bring to mind a word that is vile enough.  It is an affront to God.  That we could see the beauty, the intelligence, the wonder that is our world and never give thought to it's Creator is appalling.

The Scripture says that the world is the Lords' and everything in it.  Let's forget what the world says, what the educators say and even what our mind and culture says.  Take a walk and listen to your heart.    His handiwork should be enough to convince us of His existence.

He created your ear to hear.  He created your eyes to see.  And if you will allow Him He will open your heart to love.  He is a gentleman, giving us the right of choice and respecting our decisions.  He does not often roar into our lives commanding our attention but rather is found in the sound of the wind and rain.  Flowing softly into our lives through the sounds of birds and the laughter of children.  Warmer than the suns rays and more beautiful than the aspens in their own reflections.

Do you need proof to believe in God?  Watch a sunset.  Sit on the beach in the quiet of your mind and watch the waves roll in.  Look through a telescope on a clear night.  Find a place to be alone and ask the question with a seeking heart, God are you there?

He who planted the ear, does He not hear?  He who formed the eye, does He not see?

Father You are beautiful beyond measure.  You are lovely in Your creativity, wise beyond what we will ever know and generous in Your love for us.  Thank You for creating for us such a wonderful world to live in, for sunlight and moonlight, fire and water, plants and animals.  Open our eyes and ears and hearts to YOU Lord.  Speak softly into the hearts of every seeker and say, Yes I Am here.

The Walk

Amos 3   Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?

Sometimes it is the simplest of statements that stop you and cause you to remember...

Most all of our relationships in life are born from choices that we have made.  We fall in love by choosing to spend time with someone.  Children are born from choices made by their parents.  Friendships are formed by electing to spend time with another person.

Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?

I, we, are pursued by God.  By the choice of His will we exist and through His love for us He draws us to Himself.  Salvation, by faith in His gift of love for us, is really about a choice.  An agreement to walk with Him.

We are born estranged from God.  Not as a result of any wrong that we did but because we inherited a nature from our ancestors.  A choice was made long ago to disobey God and a breach in that relationship followed.  The relationship between God and man was forever changed and we are a result of that first choice.

God also had a choice.  He choose to redeem us.

Do two walk together unless they agreed to meet?

I remember when I agreed to enter this relationship.  I agreed with God.  I chose to believe that His word was truth, that He existed and that I needed Him.  I could not bridge the gap between us so He came to me.  He loved me.  He healed me.  He rescued me.  He saved me.  And as a result of His great love for me I agreed to walk with Him.

One of the phrases used most often by Jesus was, Follow Me.

It is an invitation to a relationship.  It is a covenant.  An everlasting marriage.  Sealed with His own blood and with His own life.  Paid for by His unfailing love for us.

If we could even for a moment open up our hearts and minds to grasp the depth of His feelings toward us we would never be the same.

He loves you!!  He waits for you!!  He longs for you!!

It is your choice.

Can two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?

Can you hear Him?  Do you see Him?

He gave you life and breath.  He gave His life and breath for you.  The call of Christ throughout the ages has been, Follow Me.  All the way home.

Father You are so good and so misunderstood.  Everything that we are and all that we have and enjoy is a result of Your mercy and goodness.  Open our eyes to You, Lord.  Open our ears and heart.  Let us find our Yes, our Hallelujah, in You.  We agree to meet You and walk with You.  It is the least we could do for all You have done for us.

The Portion

Lamentations 3    I have forgotten what happiness is....

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope; the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him.

Today we are in Denver, CO.  It is one of my favorite places.  My soul is at rest.

I have forgotten what happiness is....

Just a few months ago I was working in Manhattan.  Quite happy with life.  But that was before the tree fell on the house in April.  Funny that when you think you are finally getting everything together in life that something totally unexpected happens.

Since the first of May we have been working at the house almost daily.  And since we are finally so close to being finished, I almost skipped this trip.  I just want this renovation to be over so badly.  It has been so hot and exhausting and that makes us unusually ill with one another.  At the last minute I made a good choice to come and leave the house there.  The house will still be there when we get back (or it won't) but we need some time away and there are people here that I really want and need to see.

As I was flipping through my Bible this morning I came to their passage in Lamentations

I have forgotten what happiness is....

Life can be like.  Work can be life that.  Disasters, disease, poverty, disagreements.  Distractors from the things in life that really matter.  So this morning I just want to rest and find my center.  And just a few verses down I find help.

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope; the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him.

Isaiah 26   You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him.

Yesterday I heard of a the death of a sister in Christ unknown to me other than by phone conversation.  She was a missionary to the Native American Indians.  She had told friends that she was going to spend some time alone with the Lord, her love.  She went to her room to find her center.  She was found on the floor with an open Bible nearby.  Truly with the Lord.

No matter what happens in this life my soul is secured in Him.  If I live to be a hundred or if I die today, it is well with me.  I am sure that if I do live to be a hundred that there are sorrows yet to be endured and I ask for mercy for my family, my friends, our children and grandchildren.  Such is life.  But whatever life holds for me, He holds me.  And that is enough.

Father thank You for reminding me this morning of what it means to be happy.  You are steadfast in Your love for me, giving me hope and a future when I had none.  When I had nothing and no one You restored me to life, to health, to my children and family and mostly, to Yourself and I will be forever grateful.  You are my portion.  You are my friend.  You are my God and the keeper of my soul and I will hope in You.  Say hello to Jewel.

The Twin

John 20   Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came.  So the other disciples told him, We have seen the Lord.  But he said to them, Unless I see in His hands the marks of the nails, and place my hand in His side, I will never believe.

When I was a child I used to dream of being one of the disciples.  What an awesome privilege to have a front row seat to the life and ministry of the Son of God.  And, I thought,  how easy it must have been for them to believe that He was the Christ.  They were the Twelve.  The Chosen.  The brothers and friends of Jesus.  When I was older I learned that nearly every one of them suffered a brutal death for their faith in Him.

Thomas was an eye witness to the miracles performed by Jesus.  The sick are healed.  The lame walk.  The blind see.  Thousands are fed with some loaves and fishes and if that was not enough, the dead are raised.

But Thomas was also a witness to the crucifixion and death of this good man.

And if Jesus was dead who could raise Him?  And if the leaders could crucify the Master they could certainly deal with His followers.

John 20   Eight days later, His disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them.  Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace be with you.  ( I always wondered  here what Thomas was thinking.  Was he expecting to be chastised from the Lord for disbelief?)  Then He said to Thomas, Put your finger here, and see My hands, and put out your hand, and place it in My side.  Do not disbelieve, but believe.  Thomas answered Him, My Lord and my God!  Jesus said to him, Have you believed because you have seen Me?  Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Hebrews 11  Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Did you know that it documented historically that the man Jesus Christ lived and was crucified?  The problem is proving that He was raised from the dead.

According to Scripture He was seen by not just His disciples but by hundreds of people.  Maybe the most compelling argument is that many of those people lost their own lives for telling others what they had seen.

Most people would not offer their own lives in place of another.  Probably fewer would offer their lives in defense of truth.  Probably none would be willing to die for a lie.  It takes real conviction to be willing to suffer and die and for your faith.

It does require faith to believe in the story, the ministry, of Jesus.  What follows faith, in this case is evidence.  The evidence is given at salvation.  The proof.  As real as the scars in His hands and feet or His nail pierced side is the indwelling of His Holy Spirit.  The Bible says He is our guarantee.  Until we receive the Promise.

The power that raised Christ from the dead dwells in the heart of every believer.

There is coming a day when all will see Jesus face to face.  All will see the scars in His hands and feet and the scars from the spear that pierced Him.  And all, like Thomas, will proclaim, My Lord and my God!

My prayer is that you will open your heart to Him for He gave ALL for you.

Father the most unbelievable part of all of this is that You loved us enough to give Yourself for us.  Your Word says that hardly anyone would give themselves for even a righteous man.  But for sinners and unbelievers like me You were willing and it is that truth that brings my heart to You.   Father take these words and spread them like seeds where You will.  Cause them to have an impact for Your kingdom.  I love You and I am so grateful for the life that You have given me and for the life that You gave for me.

The Stream

Proverbs 21   The kings heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He will.

II Corinthians 1   For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him.  That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory.

On my last visit to Jerusalem we were discussing what it means to be a follower, a believer, in Jesus Christ.  I have a friend there whose answer remains with me still.  She said that our answer to Christ in our life should always be Amen.  Yes.  Whatever He asks, before He asks, that the answer from our heart would be Amen.

I remember thinking at the time that I was not sure I was there yet.

The word "Amen" is used often in the Christian faith.  It is a punctuation to our prayers and is used in services as a term of agreement or acknowledgement of truth.  And it should also be the cry of our heart.  It is a submission of will.  A surrender of our heart to His.

The kings heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it where He will.

If I could make a verse my very own, absorb it into my thoughts, if I could lost myself in a theology I would chose this one....to find my Amen, my Yes, in Him.

For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him.

In order to do that I must be willing to hear Him and I must know Him.  For how will we ever follow a God that does not speak?  How will He ever speak if we do not know Him?  And how will He ever be heard if we are not listening?

One of the challenges in hearing is finding a quiet place and then willing yourself to be quiet in your mind and spirit.  When I find myself floundering and without direction or when I am certain that I have made a poor choice I can always trace this back to not taking the time to hear or worse, not even asking for direction.

If I know Him, if I seek Him, if I listen to Him then what will my answer be when He speaks?  Will it be amen?

Father may my answer to You in all things be Yes!  Amen.  To know You, to be found in You should be the objection of my life, my highest goal.  To hear you and to trust You enough to say Yes to You in every way is the desire of my heart.  I have found You faithful and true in all Your ways and worthy of all that I have.  Help me to find my Yes in You.

The Contribution

Exodus 35   Moses said to all the congregation of the people of Israel, "This is the thing that the Lord has commanded.  Take from among you contributions to the Lord.  Whoever is of a generous heart, let Him bring the Lord's contribution: gold, silver, and bronze; blue and purple and scarlet yarns and fine twined linen; goats hair, acacia wood, oil for the light, spices for the anointing oil and for the fragrant incense, and onyx stones and stones for setting, for the ephod and for the breast piece."

In other words bring your best for the Lord and for the supply of His house.

What does it mean to give your best to the Lord?  Maybe it means not keeping the best for myself.

Whoever is of a generous heart, let him bring the Lord's contribution.

Generosity is still something I struggle with.  Not just giving in general but particularly giving of my best.  It seems that the more I have the harder it is to give.  I dislike this selfish nature.  It is in direct contrast to what is required of a believer.

Matthew 16   Then Jesus told His disciples, "if anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever would lose his life for My sake would find it.  For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?  Of what will a man give in return for his soul?"

Good question.

So maybe I struggle with generosity because of a lack of faith.

If I let go of this life and my own plans to attain the next will it be there?  If I give all to follow Christ will He be there for me?  If I lose my life in Him will it be enough?

Shameful.  But true for most of us.

We live our lives, by and large, for ourselves and our own families.  We don't deny ourselves very much.  The idea of bearing our "cross" or calling for Christ is not very appealing and losing our life to find it is risky.

Are you giving your best from a generous heart to see His kingdom come?  His will be done?

Me neither.

For what will a man give in return for his soul?

Father You gave Your very best for us.  How is it that we could be satisfied to give you less?  Forgive us Lord.  Remember that we are flesh and blood and damaged.  Our minds and heart are twisted away from You by misconceptions of who You are and by the ugliness of our thinking.  We are selfish hoarders, obsessed with greed for things that, in the end, have very little value and no eternal meaning.  Help us Lord to see You as You are and to be mindful of our souls.

The Image

Genesis 1   Then God said, Let us make man in our own image, after our likeness.  And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female, He created them.  And God blessed them.  And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that is on the face of all the earth...And God saw everything that He had made; and behold, it was very good.

Whenever I read the story of creation I fall in love with God all over again.  I imagine Him smiling when the first rays of the sun appeared and warmed everything within it's reach.  I think of the creativity and wisdom involved in developing the tides and seasons or the sense of humor that went into the design of the giraffe or the anteater.  Each flower designed by hand and built to reproduce by a loving craftsman, a master gardener.

There is a truth in this story that brings me to my knees.

It was for us.

On the last day of creation when all else was done, the sun and moon, rivers and seas, mountains and valleys and every creature that draws breath on land, in the sea or sky were in place, God on this last day, creates man and woman.  He blessed them, gave them dominion over everything that He had just made and placed them in a beautiful garden to love and help one another.

I believe that all that was ever made was made for us.

And we were made for Him.

You cannot afford to miss this.

He made us for each other and to care for the earth and to be a people for His own.  You were made for Him.  To follow Him.  To have a real relationship with Him.  To love Him.

If you are in love just imagine for a moment that this man was made for you and that before you fell for him he had a plan to win you.   Imagine he purchased the most beautiful piece of property with a creek and a waterfall, meadows full of wild flowers and a charming cottage that he had made with his own hands.  A pond that he had stocked himself and a meadow with a pony and puppy all in preparation for the life that you two would have together.  To marry and raise a family there.  To grow up and grow old and fall in love there.  Everything that you could ever want is there.  Sure, there will be hard times, fights, sickness or sorrows but such is life, right?  Even a good one.

But she, you, find yourself indifferent to his offering.  You doubt, without reason, his sincerity and despite everything he has done you walk away.

She gives herself to lesser things.

Surely somewhere in the recesses of your mind and heart you hear the call of your Creator?

Come home.  Come back to me.

Song of Solomon   The voice of my beloved!  Behold, he comes, leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills.  My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.  Behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing through the windows, looking through the lattice.  My beloved speaks and says to me,
         
                               "Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away".

He has made a dwelling place for you.  He has made a place in His world for you.  He has a place in His heart for you.  He wait and longs for you.

Do you have room in your life for someone who loves you that much or will you be indifferent to his labors and give yourself to lesser things and walk away.

Consider this.....where will you go?

Father, there is nothing greater in this life or the next to surpass knowing You.  Lead us to truth Lord and remove the lies in our hearts about who You are and what You are like.  Reveal Yourself to us.  Goodness, mercy, integrity, patience, loving kindness and unending love.  Forgive us for ever thinking that you are less.

The Creation

Genesis 1   In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was without form and void and darkness was over the face of the deep.  And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the water.  And God said, "Let there be light, " and there was light.  And God saw that the light was good.  And God separated the light from the darkness.  God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night.  And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

Do you believe this?

When I was a young child, before I became a believer or came to know God, the story of creation just made sense to me.  I could look at the stars and moon, the wind and weather and watch our food just grow up out of the ground and it was just easy for my mind to transition into the thought that there was someone in the heavens that was bigger than us and that He must keep the whole thing running smoothly.  It was my thought that he was wise and good.  And distant.

Have you ever walked barefoot out to your own garden and picked a tomato that you had planted with your own hands, washed it off with a garden hose that had been lying in the sun so the water was nice and warm and bit into a ripe, juicy tomato?  If you haven't, you should.  My first thought would be, Thank You Lord for sunshine and tomatoes.

Other theories on creation just don't fit for me.  Our world seems to be built with wisdom, creativity, order....intent.

Does it take a leap of faith to believe in creation by God?

Does it take faith to believe that we evolved from apes or came from the sea or are a product of an explosion in space?

Maybe.

Maybe before I came to know Him.

If you consider the ant, the brain, the conception of a child ask yourself if these things are random accidental events that occur by instinct alone and if so, who created that instinct.

I will not pretend to be wise enough to argue the great minds of science.  I know the outskirts of science.  But I have a working knowledge of its creator.

Trying to explain being filled with God's Holy Spirit is like trying to explain contractions to a man.  But there is, living in the heart of every believer, the likeness and exact replica of that creator and it bears witness to the truth.  He, the Holy Spirit, is our Amen.  He is the One who leads us to truth.

Creation by God made sense to me as a child.  But from the moment I placed my heart in Christ and He placed His Spirit in me it not only makes sense but is also no longer takes a leap of faith to believe it.  Its just the way it is.

I would submit to you truth.  There is a God in heaven who is present at all times.  By His power and through His great love everything that you see was created for Him and by Him.  Man was the crown of that creation, made in His own image and dearly loved.  You were made to have a relationship with Him, not just knowledge of Him.  It is the longing of His heart to redeem You.

If you can accept this as possible and in your heart allow him to reveal truth to you, to reveal Himself to you, you will never to disappointed.

Father reveal Yourself to those who read this.  Make us aware of how much it matters, knowing You.  You are everything.

The Call

Matthew 11   Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Are you struggling under the weight of the load of religion?  You know what I mean.  You can't do this.  You must do this.  You cant touch this, or taste this, or drink that.  You know.....the list. I can't, must, ought, and should list.  The fine print reads that if you keep the list to perfection you might just catch the favor of a God who is only interested in the obedience of His subjects.

Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

One of the purposes of this blog is to be a witness for Christ, a testament to a great love, a healing, love, a restoring love.  I too would with to be a voice of one crying in the wilderness, "Make way for the coming King".

There is a phrase in the New Testament that is used many times by Jesus.  Follow Me.

It speaks of a commitment.  A bonded friendship.  A vested relationship.  Just walk with Me and talk with Me, dwell with Me, laugh and cry with Me.  Pray for Me.  Learn from Me all that is needed for life, for family, for country, for My Fathers kingdom.  He knew that if they followed Him they would come to believe in Him and that would be enough to secure them for all eternity.  And that they would tell others of His great love for them.

I hope that through this blog you come to know Him.  I hope my writings make you curious about Him.  I hope it sparks your interest in Him.  Because if it does and if you seek Him, He will be found.  If you find Him, follow Him.  For knowing Him is the key to it ALL.  The whole shebang.  The whole kit and caboodle.

For what He's done for me....this is why I write.  He loved me.  He restored Me.  He redeemed from from a worthless life, from the very bottom.

He saved me.  Not with a list but by His love for me.  He loved me into a relationship and He has been mending up the broken places ever since.

Does this seem impossible?  I would be for anyone other than the Son of God, the Savior of the world.  And doesn't the world need a Savior?

Matthew 7  Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him.

Father give me the words to write that  bring people to the knowledge of who You are.  Help these words find the hopeless, the lonely, the desperate, the seekers, the misguided and unbelieving.  Let me bear witness to Your honor, Your steadfast love, Your desire to heal our wounds and give meaning to our lives. Make us Yours Lord and may we count for Your kingdom.  It's all for You Lord and YOU really ARE worth it.

The Reunion

Revelation 21   Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.  And I saw the Holy City, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, Behold the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them and they will be His people, and God Himselfwill be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.

Yesterday was an awesome day.  It was the Bowen family reunion at my mom's place.

Ken went with the kids to church while I cooked for the reunion.  Jaimie, Nick, Haley and Will at church together and that is awesome enough.  There is something wonderful in having your children worship together the God who gave all for us, especially when those "children" are grown and married.

After Church we drove to Alabama to my mothers' house which is her parents homeplace which is beside their parents homeplace.  Of course they are all long gone from this earth.  They are at their Fathers' homeplace.

Our family has been meeting here in this place for as long as I can remember. Yesterday one of my cousins brought us a picture of my parents when they were young, taken in this very yard at a reunion long ago.  My sweet, funny Daddy, gone for so many years now.  We had such a great time.  My family knows how to have fun and they love to laugh and joke and tell funny stories of each other through the years.  They also know how to cook.  The food was awesome.

I looked around this group of people, some very young, some great in years, some known and loved for all of my life an some I had not met before and I was filled with such a sweet feeling of contentment, of connection.   By blood we are connected for life.  By the Spirit we are connected for eternity.

Anytime we are together as a family I feel the loss of those who are not here any longer.  Daddy, Casey, Uncle Floyd, Granny & Papaw, Mimmie & Papa and so many more.  I miss them so much.  It is also a bittersweet longing for I know where they are.  I know where I'm going.  And I know that our best years together are still to come.  I will see them again.  No doubt.  We will spend eternity together in our Fathers' house in heaven.

My parents, and their parents and their parents owned this land and year after year they invited all the their family to come to a reunion.  It is tradition.  A way to reconnect to those people who share your heritage.

I believe that my heavenly Father has done and is doing the same.  He has prepared a place for His people, a city, where He will live with them there.  This life will be no more, all things will be made new.  Even us.  No more sickness, no more death and maybe the best of all....no more separation from your family.

Down through the generations of my family has been passed a love for God and for the Scriptures and a belief that not only does He exist but that He has a longing, deep and constant for His family, for His children, for us.  And that when this life is over we will pass seamlessly into the next.  We will go home to a huge family reunion.  The bread, the wine, the celebration, the laughter and the knowing that we have been loved and sought after and watched over and cared for from before the foundations of the world were laid.  Forever.

Father, thank You so much for my family.  For my heritage and their legacy.  The You for revealing Yourself in our lives and in our day to day search to find our way home to You.  Bless them Lord with happiness and health, make the prosper in all that they do.  I pray that their hearts, every one, are steadfastly search for and finding the depth of Your awesome love for them and that their hearts are completely and forever Yours.  Father I pray that we will not come to you empty handed but that our house will be full of the others who have heard from us of Your awesome love for them, Your kindness toward them, Your goodness and everlasting mercy.

The Work

Exodus 31 The Lord said to Moses, See I have called by name Bezales the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stone for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft....And I have given to all able men ability, that they may make all that I have commanded you.

Words given to Moses regarding the building of the Tabernacle. A meeting place for God and His people. Still relevant after all these years.

John 9 We must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day; night is coming.

For the last few months we have been renovating our home after storm damage in April. It is September. It has been one of the most stressful times in my life.

It reminds me of a dance or an orchestra. Imagine the frustration of a conductor or choreographer with fifty instrumentalists learning to play to perfection a new and very difficult piece of music.

I have learned that one trade is dependent on another. First came finding the right contractor, dealing with the insurance company and the mortgage lender, the trusses, framing, roofing, plumbing, sheetrock, insulators, electricians, masons, painters, and on and on. We are at their mercy.

If it rains the project falls behind and if one person fails to show up for work everyone following them is delayed.

One thing that I have really enjoyed about this projects is watching people work who are gifted at their trade and who will be there when they tell you they will. I love to pull into the driveway and see the tradespeople hard and work and progress being made.

Sometimes in the daily grind of life I forget that God has called me to specific place in His kingdom work.

You and I have been equipped by God to serve in some capacity in His service. There is work that only we can do. And if we fail to do it, what then?

In our remodel when people do not fulfill their roles we fall behind and eventually someone else must be found to complete that task. It's frustrating. We are building a home that we really want to live in. It's expensive. It's hard work. There is a lot depending on it. I want to have my friends and family over for dinner. I want to see a dog playing in the back yard. I want my grandchildren to play there.

God has prepared a place in heaven for all His children to dwell. Whether the world or you or I believe that it does not change the fact that it is true. There will come a day when those who have believed in Him and placed their faith in the Son, in Jesus Christ, will live together as a family. Forever.

There is work to be done to prepare for that day. People need to be invited to come. A family needs to live there. Children need to play there. And workers needs to show up and work to make sure that we do our part and seeing His work come to completion.

I want you to be there.

John 9 We must work the works of Him who sent Me while it is day.....night is coming.

Father it is so easy to live life, to raise children, to remodel or garden or play and to let the days slip away and never give thought to our purpose for Your kingdom. I want to be a good mom, I want to be a good Nannie and wife and gardener and designer and nurse, all of these things are good but what I really want at the end of the day is to spend eternity with them, with You and with as many as we can persuade to come. Place eternity in my heart, in my thoughts every day. Give the power of Your Holy Spirit to these words and let them have an impact for Your glory.

The Shadow

John 12 Now is My soul troubled. And what shall I say? "Father, save Me from the hour?" But for this purpose I have come to this hour.

Father, glorify Your Name.

Sometimes knowing the end of a story causes the beginning to lack impact. May it never be that we would consider the cross and not be impacted by the sheer horror of it.

One thing that amazes me about the life and ministry of Jesus is the fact that He could enjoy life and fulfill His purpose with the cross looming in His future. How could He function will clarity, form friendships, laugh, weep at the pain of others, teach, heal and love without measure when He knew what was coming?

And this is the point in which our minds might say, Well, He was God. And the thought is that it was easier for Him than it would have been for us. Right?

Now is My should troubled. And what shall I say? Father, save Me from this hour?

He was a man. Flesh and blood. The Scripture says He became weary, sleepy, hungry and angry. He cried real tears and felt real human emotions. Like fear. Or dread. The Scriptures say He was tested in EVERY way like a man. Yet without sin.

But for this purpose I have come to this hour.

Father, glorify Your Name.

He chose the cross. He set His eyes toward Calvary and endured not just for us. For the great Name and glory of His Father and in accordance with His will.

All things were accomplished through the life, ministry and death of Jesus Christ. Our debt was settled; an atonement was made for our sin. Jesus completed His ministry through obedience to the His Fathers' plan and for His Fathers' glory.

Be magnified, O Lord!!

Hopefully, when we consider the cross we will be impacted by the act of His will and His love and His sacrifice.

When I survey the wondrous cross....

Lord Jesus may we never forget Your anguish, Your suffering and Your commitment. Remind us of the agony and sacrifice that was made for our souls. For Your devotion to our Father and for the price that You pain we are grateful. May our gratitude be reflected in the way we live.