Matthew 5:23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Today was hard. This blog that has been flowing so effortlessly out of my heart dried up completely today. Why? Lord I know this is from you. Your heart, Your words. What is wrong? Suddenly it felt forced. Finally, after an hour of trying to write it, He speaks. For the last few days He has been telling me that an apology needs to be made. There is someone who has something against me. I tell Him that I will do something about it before I leave for Israel but now suddenly He wants it done today. Today Lord? I'm not ready. Besides, why should I be the one to give in an apologize. This person has been so mean to me. Why should I have to humble myself?
The truth is that I don't have to. That's an option. He has given me free will. The trouble with that is that there are sometimes consequences to exercising my free will. One consequence is that I hinder the Lords' work. Another is that I quench His Holy Spirit. Another is that our fellowship is not as sweet. Another is that I miss out on His best for me. I could go on and on.
So after arguing with God, yelling at Ken, throwing my glasses, with head aching and heart pounding...I give in. I wrote a letter of apology because this person refuses to speak or even look at me. It was sincere. I am exhausted but I think God is pleased. This blog is nothing like the one that I spent an hour trying to write in my own strength.
Jesus said, Without me you can do nothing.
My heart rate has settled. My head is not hurting. My husband still loves me. God understands me willfulness. I'm ok. Because at the end of this day what I really want the most is to hear Him say.....Well done. I want that more than I want my own way, more than my pride, more than being right or having the last word. More than anything.
As much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Amen?
Today was hard. This blog that has been flowing so effortlessly out of my heart dried up completely today. Why? Lord I know this is from you. Your heart, Your words. What is wrong? Suddenly it felt forced. Finally, after an hour of trying to write it, He speaks. For the last few days He has been telling me that an apology needs to be made. There is someone who has something against me. I tell Him that I will do something about it before I leave for Israel but now suddenly He wants it done today. Today Lord? I'm not ready. Besides, why should I be the one to give in an apologize. This person has been so mean to me. Why should I have to humble myself?
The truth is that I don't have to. That's an option. He has given me free will. The trouble with that is that there are sometimes consequences to exercising my free will. One consequence is that I hinder the Lords' work. Another is that I quench His Holy Spirit. Another is that our fellowship is not as sweet. Another is that I miss out on His best for me. I could go on and on.
So after arguing with God, yelling at Ken, throwing my glasses, with head aching and heart pounding...I give in. I wrote a letter of apology because this person refuses to speak or even look at me. It was sincere. I am exhausted but I think God is pleased. This blog is nothing like the one that I spent an hour trying to write in my own strength.
Jesus said, Without me you can do nothing.
My heart rate has settled. My head is not hurting. My husband still loves me. God understands me willfulness. I'm ok. Because at the end of this day what I really want the most is to hear Him say.....Well done. I want that more than I want my own way, more than my pride, more than being right or having the last word. More than anything.
As much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Amen?
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